Motionless in White Imagines & One Shots (Open)

Voices

Dedicated to Tiffanijolly thevampiremeganne eternallywarped

(A/N: I usually do not put in warnings however this one shot will be extremely graphic from a psychological stand point. These disturbing actions / images are things I have witnessed and been described from working at a mental institution and dealing with psychotic patients. If you ever need to talk, please do not be afraid to reach out for help.)

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" You cried, hitting your head repeatedly against the wall at high intensity, keeping a firm grip on your hair. "I NEED HELP!" A staff called in the back ground, rushing to pull you away. Pins and needles, portrait of pain... The voices continued in a sing-song voice. You felt your body being pulled to the ground by the staff, you opened your eyes and caught a glimpse of your reflection. Your face was bloody, but flies covered your mouth and eyes. You tried to scream and cry but you couldn't, you were choking. Why weren't the staff helping you?! "Y/n! It's Mrs. Lindsey, open your eyes sweet heart, look at me. You're okay. You're safe." She pleaded softly but firmly, she rubbed circles in your wrist. "Listen to my voice y/n, come back to us. You're at the Saundra center in Baltimore. I'm holding your left arm and talking to you, Ms. Lauren is holding your head, Mr. Dan is holding your right arm, Mr. Tom is holding your right leg, and Ms. Mary is holding your left leg. Do you understand what I just said?" She asked, you whimpered and shook your head yes. "That's a girl, I'm so proud of you for coming back to us. Can you take your medicine for me?" She asked. Another nurse, Mrs. Robin, knelt down beside your head with two pink pills and a cup of ginger ale. Pins and Needles. Pins and Needles. PINS AND NEEDLES! PINS AND NEEDLES! The voices screamed, you started to thrash around, repeating what the voices said like an echo. "Ms. Amy, I need you to get the board ready, six point and a helmet. Mrs. Robin, I need you to call for IM's. Five of Zyprexiaitis and twenty five of Benadryl." Mrs. Lindsey said calmly, "Y/n. Y/n! Come back to me sweetie. You're okay. Shhhh, It's going to be okay. Can you walk with us? Can you walk with me to your room?" She asked, you nodded. The staff helped you sit up, Ms. Lauren quickly slid the helmet over your head, careful of your already open gash on your forehead. Mr. Dan and Ms. Lindsey grabbed your arms, tucking them into their sides so you couldn't move, and quickly guided you to your room and laying you on the restraint bed. "Y/n, you need to be safe. Head banging is not safe." Mrs. Lindsey said as she locked your upper arm and wrist into the restraints, the other staff moved swiftly with the other restraints. "Mr. Dan and Mr. Tom, I need you to switch out with female staff for IM's." Mrs. Lindsey said, but her voice was in a tunnel. Shadow figures danced in the corner of your eyes, your breathing quickened as you started to panic. We're coming for you y/n... "NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" You screamed, thrashing in the restraints. Two more staff grabbed your limbs as Mrs. Robin stepped into the room, the sharps box in her hand and a smaller container with two syringes tucked into her arm. "Y/n, this is medicine to help the voices and shadows go away. This is going to calm you down and help you stay safe. I need you to try and relax, take a deep breath." Mrs. Lindsey said, her voice wavering slightly. You tried to follow her instructions as the waist band of your pants was tugged down to reveal the top of your thigh. "Breathe on 3...1...2..." You felt a sharp sting as Mrs. Robin inserted the needle and quickly pushed the plunger down. You let out a shaky breath as tears formed, "One more y/n, I'm proud of you." Mrs. Lindsey said, "Breathe on-" "Just do it! I want to stop!" You cried, feeling the second sting. "Owww!" You cried, trying to breathe normally. Staff waited one minute, policy, before readjusting your pants and letting you go. "Mrs. Lindsey?" You called, sniffling. She turned to face you, "I'm sorry."

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It had been just over a year since you had been discharged from the Saundra center. You still occasionally heard a faint voice, but it didn't tell you to hurt yourself. And you never saw shadow people anymore. Mrs. Lindsey and the rest of the staff encouraged you to be safe and to follow your dreams of being a writer. You missed them some days. But today was special, you were going to see Motionless In White. You anxiously stood in line, shifting side to side on your feet as you picked at the ticket in your hand. You can't take me from me. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, doing what you could to relax. "NEXT!" The security lady called, you shuffled forward, opening your bag for her to search. You're so- "Shut up!" You yelled suddenly, making the security guard jump. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't-" "Ya, okay looney toons. NEXT!" She yelled, ushering your forward. You sighed and moved forward, stepping up close to the barricade. Half an hour later the lights dimmed and the first opener, Twisted, played. You listened patiently, enjoying the new sound. Next was After The Burial and then We Came As Romans. Finally was Motionless. The lights darkened again, the crowd screamed, the lights on stage glittered in the dark. You ginned as the beginning of 'Undead Ahead 2: Tale of the Midnight Ride' started playing loudly. You jumped and screamed with the crowd, loving the feeling on the bass vibrating your bones.

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You were shocked the voices had been this silent for this long, you couldn't help but grin to yourself as you stepped out of the venue and into the cool October air. You went around to the side of the building, climbing up the fire escape and onto the roof. You breathed deeply, enjoying the crisp air in your lungs, and the silence in your head. You saw something move out of the corner of your eye, you jumped, worried the silence was now forsaken. "Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump. You looked really lost in thought so I figured I'd just go back inside..." Chris said. He looked nervous, his expression behind his eyes was broken. You shrugged and patted the patch of cement next to you. "You can join me. If you want? You look like you need to talk." You said calmly. You knew what it felt like to be trapped inside your own head. He nodded and sat beside you, looking out over the city line with you. "It's hard to have therapy and be on tour." He said quietly, fidgeting with his hands. "It's understandable. Tour life must be busy, and complicated...." You trailed, looking down at your shoes that were dangling over the edge of the building. "But I'll listen to you, if you'd like. I know how it feels to be trapped inside your own head." You said, turning to face him. "Just been really stressed. And depressed lately. Like it's hard to function. I feel like I'm alone and that I'm drowning." He said, taking a deep breath. You nodded along in understanding as he continued venting to you. "What about you? Nobody would just come sit on a roof for no reason. You have something on your mind." He asked, now facing you. You swallowed nervously. "I...I um... well... I hear voices. In my head. When I was younger, my mom was really abusive. And I coped by creating these imaginary friends when I was younger... but as I got older they started telling me I was stupid. pathetic. worthless. That I should kill myself because no one would miss me. Then I actually attempted one day and my older sister found me. She had me admitted to the Saundra Center, a psychiatric center in Baltimore. I was there for six months. The staff and meds really helped me with my trauma and hallucinations. I still hear voices, they're a whisper usually. It's scary. To not know what's reality or what you brain made up..." You trailed off, your voice cracking slightly as you faced him. "I didn't get a chance to thank you properly. Your music, your voice. Helped me get through a lot. Helped me realize I am not alone. That I'm stronger then the voices..." You were crying now, trying to wipe away your tears so he couldn't see them. Chris hugged you, his long arms wrapped around your shoulders. "Please don't ever forget that you are not alone Chris. People care about you as a person, as Christopher Cerulli. Not just Chris Motionless. I think you are an amazing man with an incredible personality. Please continue therapy." You mumbled into his chest.

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Months had past since that night on the roof top. The voices had gone silent completely. You nervously stood in the VIP line, fidgeting with the laminated pass. "Next!" Bryce called, motioning you forward. You stepped up to see the guys, hugging each one individually and asking how they were. Chris hugged you close, smiles for the camera. You quickly pulled him aside, before they had to leave. "How's therapy going?"