Love And Abandonment

why can't she just stay gone?

I wake up to my phone blaring an annoying ringtone letting me know someone's calling me.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this mrs.Rose?"

"It is"

"This is kelly from Saint Mary's hospital, your moms autopsy is complete, and we need someone to come and claim the body, and you were the only person listed on her emergency contacts, would you be able to make it in today?"

"Uh yeah, what time should I come?"

"Whenever you're free, we just need you to fill a few things out, and you're set"

"Okay thanks" I say as I hang up the phone. I forgot all about this, but I knew it would come back, I had hoped it would just go away, but things like this just don't, they stay, and keep the heavy feelings pouring onto me. I hear a creak in my hallway, and see mason walking into my room, I almost forgot about him.

"Hey, do you think you could take me to get some of my clothes from my house, I didn't exactly pack" he says smiling with sleep still evident in his eyes.

"I have to go to the hospital to claim my moms body, but I could take you after if that's okay"

"You're mom passed? You didn't mention this yesterday.... I'm so sorry for your loss"

"It wasn't really a loss, I can't lose something I never had, ya know?"

"I get it" is all he says back

"But yeah you can take me after, that's fine" he says after a short pause.

"Cool, you wanna head out now?"

"Yeah sure.... you're really cool about all this?"

"About what?"

"I don't know, you're just really chirpy for someone who's just lost their mother"

"She wasn't a mother really, but if it's okay with you,I'd rather not talk about this." I say flatly not wanting to look at him.

"That's okay, I understand. You ready doll?"

"Well I'm gonna take a quick shower, and get dressed. You're more than welcome to take one as well, there's a spare one downstairs through the kitchen, you'll see it to your left. "

"I'd love that, but I don't have any clothes with me"

"I think I have my buddy hero's joggers, and a shirt of his that you could wear, I think I even have his beanie"

"Perfect! I don't think I've went without a beanie in a while, I would've felt weird."

"I'll grab it for you, you can run down and set your water while I'm doing it if you'd like" I suggest.

"Alright, I'll go do that." he says with a smile as he walks off.

I walk to my closet and grab a black pair of distressed shorts with suspenders attached, black lace stalkings, a white tank top, my black and white Van's, my usual black beanie, and the glasses that hero loaned me. After I grab my fit for the day, I grab the pile of heros clothes off the shelf in my closet, and run down the stairs to give Mason the clothes. He's standing there in boxer's when I  enter the bathroom, and he's got back dimples, and I must admit I kinda like them, but he's still to pretty.

"Here you go, I'm not sure if they'll fit right, you're taller than hero so, the pants might be a little short."

"They're fine love, I'll make it work.  I've been t-told I have nice legs,d-don't you think so?"

"Of course, and you're stutters adorable actually, I don't know why you try to hide it"

He just looks at me and blushes, and with that I walk up the stair, and to my bathroom. I open the door to my shower, and set my water to the hottest setting, with just a tad bit of cold water running along with it. My God does it feel good to just soak in the warmth of the water, and breathe in the steam from how hot it is, it's so relaxing. I'm not ready for today, but it's got to happen, and of course I have to be the one to do it, why can't she just stay gone?  It's easier that way, but then again, my lifes never been easy.  I might take Mason to get clothes first, I might not feel up to it after so, it's  better we just get it out of the way. I've  been in here for a while so I decide to climb out, and get dressed. Looking at myself in the mirror, I look pale, and tired, I don't like what I'm seeing at all, but I except it, and get dressed. The outfit I chose actually looks nice, and it's perfect for today's weather. I leave the suspenders down hanging off my hips,and tuck my shirt into the stalkings, and I'm liking the way it looks. Masons right, I am feeling a little to good for a girl who's mother just died, but I feel as if I grieved enough. I think today I'm gonna get a haircut, maybe even dye it. I walk out of my room, and skip down the steps making my way into the living room.

"That outfit's hot, not gonna lie"

"Oh uh thanks" I say with an awkward smile.

"No problem sweets"

"You ready?"

"Yes ma'am! Where'd you get the glasses? They're cute."

"They're hero's"

"Who's this hero fella? Your boyfriend I'm guessing"

"No... well not really.  We almost had sex, but I told him I was a virgin, and it didn't go any farther on the count it him being a dick about it.. He was here when my mom died though, and he's been the only person in my corner lately so, I really don't know. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday morning, and I think it's gonna stay that way.

"Sheesh well alright then, you're a complicated one aren't you?"

"I wasn't until recently"

" I see"

With that we leave the house, and enter the car driving to somewhere unknown to me. Mason takes me down the same streets I'd take to go to work, and down a few other streets I haven't seen before, leading me up to an apartment building with large gates, and balconies.

"Here we are love"

"It's nice, why don't you like it here?"

" I don't like my family, this place has always been a house, and never a home."

" I get it" I say as he swings open the door.

He just walks in and goes straight up the stairs without making himself known. He walks down the hall,and into the last room of the right before digging into his dresser, and stuffing all of it's contents into a bag. Once he's done he grabs his shoes, toothbrush, and soap, and just walks back down the stairs,and right out the door, leaving  me to follow, and I do just that.

"What was that?" I say as I get in my car

"Like I said, I don't like my family"

"Okay, I get it"

We drive to the hospital, and my nerves begin to shake, what do I even have to do? Do I have to view her body? I can't do that, I know I'll break, I just know that'll do it for me. Leaving Mason in the car, I walk through the sliding doors, and up to the front desk hoping the paper work the lady mentioned was all I had to do.

"Hello, I'm Bexly rose, you called me this morning " I tell the pretty blonde behind the window.

"of course, You're here regarding Morgan rose correct?"

"Yeah" I say flatly

"If you could just follow me, we have a few things for you to fill out, and then we can go over your plans for what you'd like to do, then you can view the body, and you should be all set"

"I have to view the body?"

"You don't really have to until you make the arrangements for her burial, or if you prefer, her cremation, but most people do"

"I'd rather not"

"That's fine, have you given any thought  as to what you'll do from here?"

"I haven't actually, but I'm leaning towards cremation.  I don't have any family other then my brother but, he's been gone the last 6 years, it wouldn't make sense to have a funeral"

"Fair, but it's  better for the grieving process, it gives you more time with them I suppose"

"I don't  want nor do I need more time with her" I snap

"I'm sorry, I didn't  mean to over step, I'll leave you to fill these out" she says handing me a few papers, and walking off as she promised. I finish the papers, and leave them with the brown haired lady that accompanied the blonde from earlier, and quickly leave before I feel the burn that's been slowly creeping in. Today's been rough, but I think I'm alright.