We Were Free

Chapter 38

I never visited him at the hospital. I didn't want to, and I didn't even text or call him. His sister kept in contact with me about it though, and she told me he went to the rehab center that was about three hours away from home.

The six weeks while he was gone, I focused on myself. I tried my best not to think about him. His sister texted me the entire time to give me updates on how he was and the first three weeks she said he was horrible.

I went through my entire house and his entire house in every room and every space and found the coke he had hidden. Most of it was under our beds and I got rid of it. I wanted him back, I was going to give him the second chance-but I needed to do what I had to, to make sure he stayed clean when he got back.

Not only did I focus on my mental health, I went to the gym every day and I got some muscle and abs back. It made me happy Jake was getting healthy again, so I wanted to take the time to get healthy again too.

I was in the middle of running around the developement at my house and it was around 6am. I loved running in the morning while it was still cool. I was always fine running and I never got tired, but I literally had to stop running almost a quarter into my run because I felt sick. My mouth started watering like I was going to throw up, and I bent over with my hands on my knees on the side of the road and vomited a few times. I stood there for a second to make sure I was done, and I washed my mouth out with the water I brought with me. I was so confused. I was usually fine with running. It might have just been how early it was. I almost turned around and went back home, but I didn't and I stayed on the road and continued my run. It made me feel better.

* * *

I got back home after my run and I was dropping in sweat by the end of it. I immediately showered and got changed in different clothes and went downstairs to eat breakfast. I was so nauseous for no reason and it was scaring me. It made me feel like I was pregnant.

"Blaire?" I heard Rachel's voice ask in the living room and I peaked out the kitchen with a mouthful of food and I smiled.

"Come in! Hi!" I said and she smiled and lightly jogged to me. I hugged her and she hugged me tightly.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I'm good. I've been clean!" She said and I smiled.

"Good. I just got done showering so I look a mess." I said and she shook her head.

"You look amazing. You have abs." She said and looked down at my stomach. I was wearing a sports bra and sweatpants.

"I've been working out. Trying to keep myself busy and healthy." I said.

"Well that's good. You need to." She said and I nodded.

"I'm making breakfast. Do you want anything? I've been craving bacon so much recently it's not even funny. It's like my only greasy thing I allow myself to eat. Otherwise it's egg whites and greens. Pickles are included in greens. I've become addicted to them." I said and she chuckled.

"You sound pregnant." She said and my stomach turned at the mention of it. It kind of scared me, even though I was literally on my period.

"I'm not pregnant." I mumbled and she smiled weakly.

"You sound it." She said.

"Just because I'm craving pickles and bacon does not mean I'm pregnant." I said and she laughed.

"Mhm." She said and I ignored her and bit into a piece of bacon after frying it. It was so good.

"I think it's just the type of bacon I use-Jesus christ taste it. It's so good." I said and handed it to her. She bit and cocked an eyebrow at me.

"It just tastes like regular bacon." She said.

"You're crazy." I said and she chuckled.

"Have you heard from Jake?" She asked and I shook my head as I ate more.

"No. His sister said he can't have his phone there. Which is good. I've been thinking about him a lot. I hope he's okay. I hope he's not mad at me for not visiting him before he left." I said.

"I don't think he is. Don't worry about that. Jake knows you care and you know he cares about you. He's probably more than ready to come how to see you though." She said and I smiled weakly.

"I hope." I said and she nodded.

"I'm sure of it." She said and I ate my bacon. I was stress eating. Talking about Jake stressed me out, and talking about pregnancy stressed me out even more even if I knew I wasn't.

"So you're clean?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yeah. I've been clean since Jake left." She chuckled and I smiled weakly.

"Good. You don't need it anyways. It'll create more health problems than making you feel better." I said and she shrugged.

"Did Jake have any health problems from it?" She asked and I shrugged.

"Who knows. He never said anything about having side affects from it-but he had nose bleeds sometimes. I'm sure his nasal canal is fucked up." I said and she nodded.

"I wouldn't doubt it." She said and my phone went off. I looked down and saw it was jakes sister.

"He gets out friday. The rehab center just called me and told me. I was talking to him about you, I was the first person he's talked to that isn't at that place within the last six weeks. He said he was ready to go home and be with you. He asked if you still loved him." She said and I read it as I bit into another piece of bacon and I felt tears starting to swell in my eyes. I didn't even know I was going to get teared up, but I did. I loved him more than anything. I was so ready for him to be home. I couldn't wait to hear his voice and kiss him.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing." I said softly and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. I shook my head to kind of shake it off and she smiled weakly.

"You're emotional and craving foods. When was the last time you got your period?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Oh my god. You haven't gotten it." She said.

"Im have it right now." I said.

"Oh. Well that's disappointing." She said and I laughed.

"Not really. I haven't seen Jake in six weeks or talked to him. I'd rather not be pregnant." I said and she shrugged.

"You two would have beautiful babies." She said and I smiled weakly.

"We would, it's just the matter of us actually wanting to."