Stars ||| ADOPTED BY SHANE DAWSON BOOK 2

"I'm Not Healthy Anymore."

Raven:
I didn't want to go home, but I did. I skipped the rest of school, and rode my longboard back to my house. As long as my Uncle doesn't find out that I skipped today, I'll be fine. He values education so much.

Issac isn't home yet, so I head into his room. I lift up his mattress and take his bag of weed, along with his spare money to by more of the drug. Fifty dollars is all he has, what a shame. I take it anyways and head to my room.

I should have known I wasn't good enough for her.

I light my roll and inhale. This..is a bad habit that never has gotten broken. No matter how much my brother and my uncle warn me about the dangers, it always seems to help. Especially when I need to get my mind off of things.

Why would she do this to me? And with Taylor?

My phone buzzes, it's Chris. Turns out she's called me twenty six times, but I guess I've been too high to acknowledge it.

I should talk to her, but I can't. I don't want to hear her voice again, because I'll only get more wrapped up in my thoughts.

A solid knock sends me scrambling to shove the bag of weed in my sweatshirt pocket. "Hey, Mel?"

"What." I say. The door opens, Issac's nose twitches.

"Are you high?"I giggle, which gives it away instantly. My brother gives me a look, I stare at him back. "Is it mine?"

"No!" I laugh.

He brushes his pale hand through his dark curly brown hair.

"There's no point in fighting with you right now." He heavily sighs. "I hope you know that you're going to die if you keep doing this shit. I hope you do because you're fucking messed up."

I feel my face change. A single tear starts to well up in my left eye, and I stare at my brother high and sad. I could immediately see the regret on his face, but he sighs and walks out of my room.

That's it.

I throw the bag of weed from my pockets at the door, and get up. Woah. The world starts to spin. Maybe I had too much? I need water.

I head downstairs and open a glass bottle-ew. That's not water. Fuck. I can't think. Am I really that messed up?Maybe I should take a walk?

I stumble to my longboard and sloppy ride through my neighborhood. There's a mall nearby, maybe I can hang there while I cool down.

There's a big cement block I could jump off over with my board, over there. That'd be awesome..

Chris:

"Hey...I know you're mad at me. I would be too..Can you just pick up the phone? I-I feel really bad..can we just talk? Plz.." I say into the voicemail. "J-Just call me back when you feel better...I guess. I love you, bye."

I let out a long sigh. I can't keep dwelling on this, I'm going to hurt even more if I do.

Raven pulls back, giving me another hug, and rocks me in her arms.

"If I let you in..y-you have to promise to not hurt me...I-I can't be hurt anymore." I whisper.

"I promise with all my heart."

A sob escaped my lips, just as I'm about to leave my room, I hurry back inside and lock my door. Why can't Raven and I be back in 2018? We were inseparable, nothing could break us apart...nothing. Not even our own messed up minds.

She'll never love you like she did last year..

I start scratching my arm. My skin turning red. My voice in my head tells me to stop, that I'm ruining a year of hard work, but I can't. It's impulse. Impulse drives you to do scary things.

There's blood- I immediately stop. I look at my arm in pure shock, through my blurry eyes. What have I done? Did I just resort back into my old ways?

I'm no better than I was a year ago, I worked so hard-

There's laughter downstairs, it doesn't take me a moment to realize who it is, Morgan.

What, am I going to have another episode, and ruin this relationship too?

I throw on one of my dad's old sweatshirts, smelling of Diet Coke. I stare at my self in the mirror, disapointed, angry, sad- everything that I worked for keeping myself clean, is gone now. It's only going to get worse and worse from now on..

"Stop crying!"I whisper-yell to myself, as I wash my face clean. Before heading downstairs, I take a deep breathe, put a smile on my face, and..

"Ow!" Morgan complains as I jump on her back, forcing her to give me a piggy back ride around the kitchen."I forgot you grew!"

I'm done growing...which only means I'm gaining weight-getting fat.

"Babe, what's the matter?"

It must have been on my face. I glance at Ryland, but he's too busy cleaning up the counter. I shrug my shoulders.

"Nothing...Lets do something tonight!" I exclaim.

"Colorado?"

"Ew, no." I laugh. "What's in Colorado-nothing!"

Morgan glares at me, I return it with my rolled eyes. Shane comes from his beauty room, his pig mirror in his hand and a new makeup look on his face. My jaw drops.

"Wait, why is that actually amazing?" I say, my dad poses.

"Because I'm becoming a makeup guru, couldn't you tell??" He pronounces guru, goo-roo and his eyes go wide making me laugh. "I'm wearing my pallet! And....the gloss!"

Ryland hugs dad, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Well it looks amazing. I'm so proud of you-"

I make an immature moan, causing Morgan to burst laughing, and my parents to glare.

"Hey, don't be surprised. Y'all need to be quieter next time when you celebrate dad's launch!"

Both their faces go tomato red. I smile at my destruction and grab Morgan's hand to go upstairs to my room.

Hopefully we can find something to do tonight that will make me forget.Today I broke my one year clean-I'm not healthy anymore..

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A/N: Chris and Raven are slowly dying. I don't know how I feel about that. Next chapter is going to be on the lighter side of things, promise!