The broken and the torn

Chapter 5

She lay still on her back, as he entered her, tears was flowing but she had to do what she had to do her whole future depended on this decision today. And she had to make the right one. The only one she saw fit.

Her spirit was irritated and she wanted to slap him hard in his face for him to get up and move. But she held it together..... She cried and she groaned. She wanted it to end so much, so she could cry it off and get on with her life....

*****

Kim was sixteen now on her last lap of high school and the deadline for her subject payment was today and she knew it must be paid. She can't waste five years out of her life. She must accomplished something to her name....

She had eight subjects to take and she was excited but she is extremely saddened by the fact that her parents failed to provide her with the money she needed to pay for that subject. Her mother was out of a job for years and she really didn't have that money, her father made it clear that he cant give her that he can't afford that when his girlfriend needs underwear. That thought still hurt her like crazy because the sacrifice she had to make was way too great...

She called someone from her church for assistance. He was a respectable man in the church. He seems to be happily married to his wife and he was very kind to the young people.
Kim saw him as the only person that could have helped her in that particular time.

She called him with great hope, she knew he would try his best to come through for her.
He was readily available to help her as she had expected and he made arrangements where to meet him for the money...

Kim was so overwhelmed, she knew now that she will sit her exams and be what she wanted to become in life. She hurriedly told her mother and she decided to pay him back when she have that money at hand......

That morning Kim got up early being that she have to meet Bro. Ryan for the money to help her with her payments.
He called her when he was close enough and her heart beamed with excitement..... She was extremely grateful and at this particular time she knew God was really with her, he had send help when all else have failed, her parents!.

She hurried over to the truck when she saw him signalling to her.... She did her greetings and he smiled with her. She thought it was a little odd that he is smiling so much but she just kept smiling as she is really grateful.

She stood patiently waiting for the money but what Bro. Ryan said jerked her heart and flung it to the other side of her body....

He made his request to have sex with her so she can get the money but she didn't know what was happening. She heard him but she had gone blanked.
Why is it that a church member is going to abuse her as well.

She stood there, fear took over her body and she want to cave in.
Why is he asking for sex in exchange for helping her???
Nobody really cared about her. That thought really caused her breath to stop. Nobody cares no one wants to help genuinely. Nobody loves or respect her.

She was dragged from her trance when he repeated himself..... Tears began to fall uncontrollable, she try begging him to just help her and don't hurt her but he insisted and he was determined and that made Kim realized no one was for her not even the ones that preach the gospel....

She had to make a decision and she had to do it fast. She really need this money to pay for her subjects. No doubt this will haunt her for the rest of her life, she would despise church but she would have her subjects. That thought hit her and she knew then the best decision was to let him have his way..

She climbed into the truck as instructed and found the bed he was pointed to. She lay there, and closed her eyes quickly.....
He was going to be the second man for her as she lost her virginity on her birthday, and regretted it terrible.
Darrian the guy that took her virginity cheated on her two weeks after she gave herself to him, and she was still pissed about that fact. She was so full of anger and unforgiveness that she left him that instance and decided to be single..

**********

She was dragged from her thoughts when she felt him going harder and harder, it's has if her body was numbed all along. She prayed to the god that seemed to forget about her for this to end but he kept pumping inside her.
She felt so dirty and untidy.
She wanted a shower now...
She wanted to die. Death where are you, please take over... She begged death to come.

But death seems to be busy attending to others...

She felt him froze, and his breathing became heavy, she knew he had climax. She never felt so relieved in all her life. She just wanted him to move off her.

He slowly lifted his frame as if he heard her... She has never been so pissed in all her life. What was it on her that have these grown ass men gravitating towards her. Was she there puppet....

She stood abruptly as he removed him self, she fixed her uniform, wipe her tears as they flow more and more. She wanted to be cleanse, renewed.
She felt like a damn slut.
She watched him as he hesitantly placed the money on the bed he just abused her on.....

She scanned him and she began to cry even harder she took up the money and began to make her way from the truck when his voice interrupted her departure.....
" Your pxxxxy feels so good, i wonder who you got it from must your momma", his voice lingered on every word.
Kim swore under her breath and she wished he would just die, crashed and die miserable......

She walked away with tears streaking down her face. She wanted him to die so much and pay for the hurt he had caused her.. she felt like a absolute prostitute and she want her life to be away with.

For the entire week that followed she cried everyday. She despised everyone that hurt her.

And what took her by surprise the most was that.... She realized she hated man so much, everything that made them up irritated her. And she discovered she likes girls. Not just to be around them and be friendly she like girls to be in a relationship with she wanted to feel a different feeling a different love. A different touch....

She was determined to find it and she started with Badoo. A dating site. She was hesitant at first but her hurt and pain push her to try the difference.

Her life was taking a turn and she accept it, she embraced it as this was a choice for her. Her rape and abuse wasn't a choice it was the number one option and they forced it on her, violated her and she now needs to do something on her own.....

She really didn't care of what would happened next the discrimination if someone found out, she didn't give a damn....
Rape was even worst and she is still suffering....

She needed love and she knew a woman would provide this...

She was ready.

Hey loves thanks for reading this far I hope you enjoy my book so far. I really appreciate it feel free to comment ok. I would love a feed back...

Kim is experiencing alot, that Bro. Ryan guy is really a ass and damn Kim wants to be a lesbian.... This is sad😞