Kim stood there numb, so much has happened to her since Obrian came in to her life.
She stood and looked at her self in the mirror.
How did she get here? How did she become a cheater?
How on God's Earth did she reach here???
O'Brian swept her off his feet. She must admit, he taught her alot, he really let her realized that she wasn't being treated fairly, everything else occurs different.
The touch??? The compliments??? Everything else is just different with him.
She knows it's not permanent, she doesn't want it to be but god knows she really enjoy whatever he is offering.
It's new to her, this is what she always ask Davar for, this is what she has been longing for, to feel wanted, to feel loved to feel happy.....
Tears streamed down her face because she knows hurting Davar wasn't her intention ever, but damn she was tired of the tears and the unhappiness.... She just needed to feel loved and appreciated.
Amidst all the incredible feeling he is actually placing on her she knows she must let go. She must let him be. He needs to let her be.
He isnt hers!!
He will never be hers!!!
She need to fix her problems!!!
Over the past months Obrian has hurt her so much, on and off relationship.
Cursing her whenever his wife found out about them and threaten to take away the kids.
She felt so guilty and stupid at times.
She must let go, she has to......
A memory of her going home last summer flashed across her face and she remembered that dark place, that bitter place she went into when she went home to Davar.
The only thing that kept her going was her son and literally her best friend (britania).
Britania and Kim became really close after her once best friend turned out to be a back stabbing bitch!! ( oh yes, she said it).
Britania has been there in ways no other friend has, to dry every tear Obrian caused her, to listen to the sexual experiences with him, the fun times and memories and yes to dry her tears again.
They have become so more than friends they are sisters...
Which they make a vow to maintain no matter what happened.....
Last summer just let her realized that regardless of how she try fixing her relationship with Davar it will not work...
Its hard to mend something with someone who only you see as broken.
She would wait for Davar to sleep at nights then she would cry her eyes out, praying for the strength and courage to move on....
Moving on is something she isnt sure she can do at all. She cant start over, they have a son together which he will dearly need his dad and she couldnt at all just let go like that....
No matter how hard she wanted to.....
********
She is almost at the end of her two years mark, and she is glad she need to be out of Obrian's environment for sure.........
It was late April she have exam in a few days and all this college experience will be over or atleast on pause....
She sighed with regret knowing that she will be going home. Home was great her son was home but to go there and pretend as if all was great with Davar is killing her slowly...
People would see them, deeply wishing that they were them not knowing how much it hurts at times.......
She closed her eyes as the image of her and Davar came vividly before her......
**********************
She stood in the hallway crying, her face has become red. How??
she didnt know as she was full of melanin.
She stared at him sitting down on his phone ignoring ger words as if she meant nothing to him......
Anger was infiltrating her very blood and she just need him to listen, hear her out atleast understand...
"Why?? Just tell me why??? Why cant you bring me to dinner or let us have ice cream or something to bond as a couple, all I can remember myself doing for the past 4 years is looking after you and the baby" she screamed until her throat ached...
He barely look up at her, she sensed his disgust but she wants her voice to be heard at all cost......
" Why is it so hard for you to let me feel wanted as a girlfriend? Not your child's mother but as a girlfriend"
He narrowed his eyes and hiss his teeth so hard and loud, she thought he could pulled her through his teeth...
She is persistent she continues.....
" What am I to you???? Your maid??? Your child bearer???"
She was getting angrier by every word she utters. She really needs him to understand, to see her point of view. To understand how unwanted she feel, how insecure she feels, how small she feels.........
Her anger got the best of her thoughts it was taking over her cerebrum and she couldnt think straight..... she just wants to be understood and loved and appreciated. She needs so much that she is lacking....
Before she knows it her hands grabbed his phone he was penetrating on and she dashed it against the wall, she knew it fell to pieces; she heard it but she didnt even bother to look....
At this point steam was rushing through her ears and she demand an answer by any means.........
He stood up and he looked at her........
His eyes filled with anger, and what seems to look like hatred.....
She didnt care at this point she needed answers and NOW!!!!!!
She began to walk closer to him but his voice dragged her.....
Yes, he is giving her answers, her eyes stood at attention waiting for him to tell her whats behind all of this....
"I dont bring you out because I dont even want a man looking at your shadow and I dont want another guy to even look at you" he say the words so confident...... as if it all make sense in his head......
Kim breath has stopped she cant believe he had let her feel so unloved, insecure and the list goes on because he is afraid someone else might have eyes for her....
Bullshit!!!! She cursed under her breath . That is the most senseless excuse she ever heard.
So he treats her like trash foe this silly ass excuse...... This is dumb. This is dumb.
********
"KIM!!!! KIM!!!!" shouted Britanya
She was dragged out her trance by her friends voice and she was glad too, the thoughts made her sick........
Cheating wasnt a road she wanted to travel on but here she is driving on it and loving it even though the road is rocky. She definately doesnt regret it.....
Atleast now she knows how it feels to be complimented or appreciated even in the least way. And damn it felt good.....
" Girl come on we have studying to do" britanya said smiling..... as she noticed Kim's face is lit up, blooming and glowing. Those thoughts must be hot, she thought to her self.....
Her friend was smiling even if she is having the dirtiest thoughts and that made her happy.............
************************************
So ive been missing for 1 year plus trust me pregnancy and early postpartum was hard.... smile but am back guys🥰🤩😁😁
YOU ARE READING
The broken and the torn
Non-FictionThis is a real life Jamaican story about a female that goes through so much in her life continuously, death was the only goal she wanted to achieve at one point in time. she craves for love, comfort and peace but was so far out of reach for her...
