Malaya

Truly, Madly and Deeply

I go home with a peaceful heart. Sa wakas may closure na kami ni Johan. I wish him happiness because he deserves it.

Im just lying in my bed and its still 7pm. Wala din akong ganang kumain. I am contemplating whether to send a text message to Von or not. I miss him so much. My days are so gloomy without him. Sa huli napagdesisyonan kung magtext.Bahala na nga.

"Hey, are you busy? Can I call you. I miss you." I want to let him know that i am missing him.

Pero dalawang oras ng nakalipas wala parin akong reply na natanggap. My heart hurt. This makes me more anxious. Nang biglang tumunog ang phone. Dali-dali ko itong binuksan. To my dismay it is Vienna who texted.

"We are here at the Forth. Come here kaysa nakatunganga ka jan sa Condo mo. "

Wow! She knows what im doing. I just ignored her message and proceed to my facebook account. Wala talaga ako sa mood gimimik ngayon.

My heart hurt more when I see Celine's post.
"Congratulation to this handsome guy beside me." With a heart emoticon.

Yun ang caption ng post. But what make's my heart break is that Celine's arm clinging into Von's arm habang nakahilig ang kanyang ulo sa malapad na braso nito. They look at each other. Celine smiling sweetly while Von just staring at her. Im sure they are not in the conference parang nasa isang restaurant iyon basi sa background ng picture at my wine pa sa lamesa nila.

Mapakla akong nakangiti. Kaya pala hindi siya makapagreply busy pala siya. And Who Am I to demand anything from him eh wala naman kaming relasyon. We never define what we are.
Wala ako sa lugar para magselos at masaktan pero putang ina ang sakit talaga.

Without thinking I immediately change my clothes,put some make-up and hurriedly go to the bar where Vienna and my friends are. I cannot just sit here and cried all night. I want alcohol baka sakaling makalimutan ko yung nakita ko.

"Stop that Cass, hindi makatulong yang pag-inom mo. Ang pula-pula muna."
Agaw ni Vienna sa inumin ko.

"Let me Vi, just for tonight I want to sleep tight para hindi na ako mag-abang ng tawag niya pag-uwi ko sa condo"

She sighed and smiled sadly at me.

"Fine.But after 30 mins hour let's go home na. Hatid ka na namin. Kanina kapa inom ng inom jan eh" Talak niya sakin.

I nod at here. At napapikit sa pait at anghang ng alak nato. Para puso ko lang ang pait at ang sakit. Kanina pa talaga ako naiihi.

" CR muna ako girls" sabi ko sabay tayo.
Nahihilo ako kaya nung bigla akong tumayo para akong nabubuwal.

"Hey," sabi nung kaibigan na kasayaw ni Viena kanina. Sino nga ba to Daryl?or Jace? He held my waist to assist me standing straighly.

"Thanks" sabi ko ng nakangiti sa kanya. He's cute though at namumula pa siya.

"Samahan na kita Cass" Jenessa offered.

"No no continue your chit-chat with there. Im fine. Balik ako agad." Tanggi ko sa kanya.

Sa wakas nakaihi rin .Naghilamos ako para mahimasmasan. Ang pula ko na nga.
At ng medyo okay na ang pakiramdam ko lumabas na ako ng banyo. Laging gulat ko nalang ng makita ko si Von sa labas .
He is standing while here arms crossed at his chest. Parang galit .

No he is with Celine doing something right now after drinking that expensive wine. Im hallucinating. Napangiti ako ng mapakla at pinihig ang ulo. Ganyan ko na talaga siya ka miss para makita siya habang lasing na lasing ako.

Ng nauntog ako sa malaki niyang katawan. Napangiwi ako sa sakit.

"Ouch! Bakit ko nakikita ang mukha ni Von sa pader. Ganito ba pagmiss na miss mo. Tss" di ko mapigilang mainis.

Ng aamba akong lumakad uli,
"Where are you going?" A cold voice caught me. Napadilat bigla ang mga mata ko.

"Impossible, nagsasalita ang pader na si kamukha ni Von, Oh my!! Nababaliw na yata ako sa sobrang pangungulila ko sa kanya na kahit sa pader siya ang nakikita ko"

"Tss" A warm hand caught my waist .

"You know how to tame me baby huh?"
His fresh breath brings chill to my body. Parang natanggal ang kalasingan ko.

"Youre here?" Sabi ko sabay hawak sa kanyang mukha na hindi makapaniwalang andito siya.

"Uh uh, "

"Impossible, diba magkasama kayo ni Celine at nagsasaya ngayon" i said bitterly. Sabay layo sa kanya.

"Oh, baby I dont know what youre taliking about. As soon as finish my work I flew here immideately just to be with you but my baby is hugging another man at the park" he said coldly.

Napalunok ako sa sinabi niya.

"Nagkabalikan na ba kayo?"

My heart hurt upon hearing pain in his words. I know this is my fault for not defining what we are. I didnt give him any assurance. I couldnt blame him if he felt that way. But damn this man is so unbelievable. Hindi pa ba halata ang totoong nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. I am crazy for him.

"Unfortunately hindi kami nagkabalikan, We are just clearing things out. That hug is just a friendly hug. Im reserved for somebody else" I said while looking away from him. I cant say directly at him that I am reserved for him alone.

"Tss. And why are you drinking with that asshole, you know how I hate seeing someone holds you, I should be only me Baby" He easily grab my waist.
Devoring every corner of my waist.

Napanganga ako sa kanyang ginawa.
I feel so hot.

"He is just helping me nabuwal ako dahil sa hilo. Ni hindi ko nga matapunan ng tingin ang mga lalaki don. And mind you I am drinking because of that damn photo of  you and celine I saw at facebook. You didnt contact me for almost two weeks Von, I am going insane!" i suddenly burst out.
Hindi ko na talaga mapigilan ang emotion ko.

Napanganga siya sa sinasabi ko.And look at me intently.

"Uh huh, Im doomed. You know how to play this game so well baby. " he smirked at me.He's holding me too close. He lifted-up my chain and plant a soft kiss on my lips.

"My baby is jealous. You dont have to. I am truly, madly and deeply in love with you, only you Cassandra"

Totoo? Parang sasabog ang puso ko sa saya. Damn. I am also doomed.