The Deep End

32

Chapter Song: The District- Obadiah Parker

I furiously walked towards him. The sight I saw alone was revolting not including the past conversation I just had.

Across from me was Noelle batting her stupid eyes at my boyfriend. Well technically he never asked, but he still was my boyfriend. At least I thought he was.

I watched them as she forced a laugh and placed her hand on his arm flirtatiously. He didn't seem that into it thank god. He seemed more annoyed that she was there. I could tell he was just trying to be polite about it. I almost started laughing at the whole thing, it was ridiculous.

Finally when our eyes did meet his eyes grew wide. I think he sensed my anger because his eyebrows began to rise too. I stood there just looking at him never feeling so humiliated. I could tell Noelle was smirking standing there as if I caught the two of them, but little did she know.

"Is it true?" I whispered through gritted teeth biting back tears finally within distance of him. I met his eyes and suddenly knew there wasn't going to be an actual answer.

I felt so fucking sick to my stomach.

I didn't have to wait for one. I could see it written on his face. The way his shoulders sunk at the last of my words. Even how his barely open mouth twitched at what he wanted to say. Almost as if he was trying to form the words but his body wasn't comprehending what his brain was telling him. Maybe he was in shock that I actually found out. 

It was as if the concern or happiness or any other emotion he felt completely drained from his face. The only expression I saw was panic. I had caught him in the wrong, but it wasn't with Noelle. At this point maybe that situation would have been better to face.

"Good luck with him. I hope round two really works out for you guys," I nodded towards Noelle before turning my back on them. 

"Parker I-" he reached out as I stepped away.

"Don't!" I shrieked throwing my hand up to stop him.

The touch would have been poisonous for all I cared. I walked past him towards the nearest trash can.

You know when you hear something and you get butterflies in your stomach but not the good ones? Well, there were thousands of them rumbling my stomach. I was beginning to think I was actually going to be sick. It was a gut-wrenching stab in my abdomen except there was no knife. Just heartache.

I stumbled over towards the trash can wishing I could just kick it and all these feelings away. Or at least puke the feelings out of me as I trembled to grip the trash can. I started to dry heave but didn't have anything to throw up except a few bites of the pretzel. I wished I could just thrown up, it would be better than this. I forced my eyes shut feeling the tears between my lashes.

I felt so used. So vulnerable. How could someone do something like this to a person? It was fucking disgusting. I shuttered at the thought.

I think that talking to my mother was better than this. I would prefer talking to her over feeling like this. I started to chuckle as I leaned over the trash can waiting for the next round. This was seriously some sick twisted shit.

I heard his footsteps but I didn't feel like turning around. Instead, I gripped the trashcan harder and harder until my knuckles were white.

"Kennedy just please let me explain," I heard the pain in his voice begging me.

I turned to face him. I stared at him with stone-cold eyes. I could not break. Not here. I heard Riley call my name, but I ignored her. I didn't know what to say to him or what excuse he was going to give me.