Fitoor

pleasure comes with perils

"Maya...! Wait!"

Sahir hurriedly pulled on his pants before rushing behind her to the bathroom, without taking the initiative of knocking, he twisted the knob and pushed the door open as he saw Maya look up from the sink. Her eyes were bloodshot red, tears spilling down from her cheek as she raised her hand asking to halt in his steps towards her.

She placed her hand over her mouth to stop herself from throwing up and caught her breath weakly as "Leave!" were the only things that she was able to say. Before he could retaliate, she bent over the sink spitting up whatever little food she just ate.

"You don't need to see this, please go." She barely whispered.

But little did she know, her Sahir was not one to be intimidated by the changes in her body, emotional or physical health. As she continued throwing up he reached over next to her putting his left hand on her waist and rubbing her back gently as she caught her breath. Just as she thought it was over, she felt a burning sensation in her stomach forcing her to bend back down and continue throwing up whatever was left. Just as she did so, she felt Sahir's hands gather her hair in a ponytail with his hand as the other continued rubbing her back, giving her some mild comfort.

Just as she was done, he helped her stand up straight as he made her drink some water allowing her to gargle before clearing her throat. Without waiting for her to approval, he swooped her in her arms as if she was weightless, before bringing her onto their bed, placing her down gently. He filled the glass with water as he made her drink the entirety of it. Maya was so weak, she knew it was futile to resist his help.

As she placed the glass down. He cupped her face while sitting on the corner of the bed.

"Are you feeling better, jaan?" He asked as her plumpy cheek molded into the hold of his hand.

She looked at him with a crestfallen face and misty eyes that conveyed things she chose not to say.

"She's still your wife, Sahir. She's having your legitimate child. I had forgotten that I'm the outsider." Maya said.

"Maya, tum-you're no outsider. How can you say this? And legitimate child, really? Do you think I will not give my name to our tadpole-is that how low you think of me?"

"Sahir, I trust you. But this world...this world will never accept our child. He'll always be known as your mistake." She said. "He'll never get the respect of being a child born out of marriage." She sighed.

"Maya...I'm divorcing her. This isn't about you or tadpole. Arzoo and I made it clear that we weren't going to stay together because of our child. She asked for child support in alimony and I'll give it to her if that means being able to stay with you."

"But...she's having a child that is yours. You can divorce her, but not your child. And it cannot be denied that your child deserves a father in his or her life. No matter how much it bothers me, Arzoo's child is still your child." She said guiltly.

"I know, Maya. And I'm giving legitimacy to that child too, na? I can co-parent without being married to Arzoo. There are plenty of children who can have a happy life without their parents being together. And why should we bring a child into an unhappy home? Isn't it better that he or she has two happy homes?" He reasoned.

"Sahir, if you're leaving your child and Arzoo because of me, this guilt will consume me for the rest of my life. I don't want to be the homewrecker." She said worriedly.

"And you're not, baby. I'm telling you again-you cannot break what is already broken. Had you not been in my life my decision would've remained the same."