Save me

13. The truth

"There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it, and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense."
― Jane Austen, 

❦

Annabelle had been on bed rest once again for almost a week, she had missed the beginning of the autumn festival in town, and she felt herself growing spiteful, she hated herself. She hated who she had to be. She cried in between appointments and spoons of medicine that began to taste like nothing to her. She begged and pleaded to be let out, even to have visitors. To which was always met with a disapproving head shake. She was tired of watching the sun rise and set and not being allowed to feel each day as it occurred. It began to reach the point where the window being opened was the most exciting part of her days. 

Samuel had come back from School for a short visit where he sat and told her stories for hours on hours and would make her laugh, but he had returned back to school now and she was stuck with the books that she read so many times over and over again her head began to for the first time become sick of them. Her skin had become even paler, her eyes just slightly darker and her smile a rare occurrence to her Aunt and Uncle. 

But worst of all she had to be reminded of the last time she was with Gilbert, in his arms fading in and out of consciousness. Her reuniting with him had been cut so brief by her own selfishness. She knew he was going through so much and it wasn't fair of her to feel such a way just because he hadn't written to her. I mean she wasn't his family? were they really even friends? Did he even like her in general? All of these questions seemed to be whirling around her mind with no sign of stopping. 

"Anna?" She looked up from her sulking position under the white covers that had been protecting her from every harsh reality waiting outside her house. "I have news.." Anna watched her aunt's expression, it seemed hesitant

"Yes..?" Mary sighed

"Okay, we've been permitted to get you some fresh air.."
Anna threw off the covers throwing herself into Mary's arms "Oh lord blessed this is the best thing to ever happen yes yes yes" Mary couldn't help but wrap her arms around her niece

"But don't get too excited okay.. we are going to take it easy-John has simply advised we make a short walk into town and to bring the cart along in case we may need to let you sit, or bring you back in a hurry- It also means I can pick up more of your medicine from the Apothecary." Anna nodded frantically "Whatever it takes I just need to be outside I can't stand these walls anymore," Anna said as Mary smiled in response, she simply couldn't help it at the sight of her niece this happy. 

"Get dressed and I'll bring you some fruit for energy before we leave" 

As Mary exited the room Anna felt herself start to regain even a small amount of hope, she could regard the world with gratitude and joy once again, rather than watch its presence from afar, silent and disheartened. She found her newest frock, frilled with a light white blouse and long purple and red skirt, a deep red petticoat over the top. The colour made her feel brave, braver than she could force herself to feel at this moment. She placed a white ribbon in the first layer of her hair and bowed it, her look matched the autumn leaves beginning to show in the trees. After her aunt had forced Annabelle to eat some fresh apples which the Shirleys had kindly brought over yesterday Anna was ready for her first step outside in days. And as expected the moment that oak door opened the breeze hit her with nothing but its usual magnificence. She let in the deepest breath possible before relaxing her shoulders and marching forward, Mary worryingly following her every step. "Anna wait just a sec-"