Save me

19.

"You will lose someone you can't live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It's like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."
― Anne Lamott

song: Fever dream-mxmtoom

(or whatever you want)

❦

He had been sitting in the corner of Annabelle's room propped up in a rocking chair too small for him for three days now. He refused to leave Annabelle's side. Even as Diana and Anne had come to visit every two days after and before school their pleading for him to eat and to go home to resist proved to no avail. Gilbert couldn't leave, his mind was focused and centered on one thing. Her. Each agonizing minute that passed was another in which he felt himself losing her. And to waste a single moment of her existence while she was still here would be something he could never forgive himself for.

He grasped her hand watching her in peaceful sleep. Her eyelashes falling just lightly to her cheeks where even now a light flush was sprinkled across her nose. He longed to see her open her eyes even if it was just to yell at him. The sun peeked out from the clouds for the first time that day and Gilbert slowly stood up from his chair moving towards  her wall, where a poem as pinned above Annabelles bed, he had religiously stared at for the last three days 

"Cruel Death! The young leaves droop and languish;
Evening's gentle air may still restore—
No! the morning sunshine mocks my anguish-
Time, for me, must never blossom more!

Strike it down, that other boughs may flourish
Where that perished sapling used to be;
Thus, at least, its mouldering corpse will nourish
That from which it sprung—Eternity."- Emily Brontë

"Please Annabelle...don't leave me"

But she couldn't help it. 

Annabelle was consumed by a feeling that pulled her down into the deepest parts of self-hatred and pity. It was dark wherever she was and all she could feel was the unknown weight of something too heavy to hold. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, arms wrapping around her body. She felt so suffocated by everything around her, her life and her heart were playing a game with her that she seemingly would never win. She had always known that Love was a dangerous thing, that it could consume a person and trap them in unbreakable vines. And she had fallen, victim. She loved Gilbert Blythe, she loved him and she was in love with him. She loved Samuel, her aunt, and uncle and she loved her friends. How could she let it all slip away? Even with all the love in her heart, her body couldn't keep fighting it was cruel. An irony she wanted to erase.

Gilbert:

As Gilbert held Annabelle's hand so firmly in his own he began to feel her getting colder and he scrunched up his face in desperation, he tried not to let his tears give in to the inevitable. He was sitting helpless as he watched the love of his life fade away. He could feel her leaving him just like he could before his father passed away.

What was he without Annabelle? He couldn't even remember what it felt like to be happy unless she was there.

"Please Annabelle smith don't you dare leave me...w-we have so much we have to do together...we have to see Paris! We have to ride horses into the sunset like you wanted..." 

Gilbert could feel himself choking up as he saw the life he would have had with her flash past his eyes.

"Annabelle.Annabelle.Annabelle stay with me"
But it was too late the sound of her last breath escaped her lips and her hands fell cold and limp, she was gone. Annabelle was gone. The cries of anguish escaped Gilbert's lips as he could no longer hold back, he sobbed into his hands that still gripped onto hers as if he could bring her back.