T H I R T Y - T W O

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Valerie: 

"I would never be able to thank you for all that you've done for me, Really" I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

"It's nothing, sweetie, you know i love those babies like they were my own" He chuckled and i smiled letting out a small laugh.

"Still, i don't know what i would have done without you in this pregnancy" I said truthfully, he and Joaquin have been really helpful all of this time. They are really angels.

Chris smiled and sat next to me in bed as he placed a hand on my belly. It had gotten SO big, never did I thought twins would grow that much on my little body, Lots and lots of stretch marks are there, but at this point i don't care, as long as they stay alive.

But here they are big babies, as big and healthy as they could ever be. and I'm so glad for that. I'm still terrified, about something bad happening, but i'm doing so many checkups constantly to avoid all of that.

"Damian and Danielle will love the dinosaur shelf I installed on their room" he said proudly, " and the cribs, god, I'm telling you, putting those cribs together was a nightmare, Joaquin already fell asleep on the couch, he was so tired, he's also a little too excited, he was talking non-stop about how he'll teach them crochet, I think he won't wake up till tomorrow"

"Chris, why didn't you take him to the guest room, I want you both to be comfortable" I sighed getting a little irritated but I knew this had to be the hormones, they literally just put together all of the furniture for the twins. I couldn't be more grateful.

"I'll wake him up later so he comes with me to the room." he says taking my hand and kissing it "let's eat dinner just the two of us, we can just hang out, like college times" he said smiling and I nodded standing up and walking to the kitchen with him, i had a glass of water, and he poured himself a glass of wine.

The lasagna only needed to be placed in the oven, so after that It was really just laughing and talking with Chris while it was baking.. I loved spending time with him, he's really been my support all of these pregnancy months. Him and Joaquin have been always taking me to my appointments and helping me setting up the baby nursery.

"your mom's frozen lasagna has to be my favorite dish. What will we ever do without it?" he said when he took the first bite of the lasagna i just served him, I smiled and took the fork going for my first bite. I loved my mom's lasagna too.

Ugh. Food isn't as tasty when you are pregnant. I leant as I tried to reach for the salt on the middle of the table.

Splash, splash....

The sound of water falling on the floor made me stand up from the chair, I close my eyes hoping it wasn't what i thought it was. I looked down at my dress. It was wet.

"Chris, I just peed..." I said looking down, was I scared? Embarrassed? I bit my lip not really knowing what to do, or how to react. I have been trouble holding it in, but i always make it to the bathroom, i didn't even wanted to pee.

"sweetie. I really think your water just broke, I'm taking you to the hospital" he said grabbing his wallet from the table and holding out his hand for me to stand up. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. He's just trying to be calm, because someone needs to be sane, and that isn't me.

"we're two weeks early, Chris, it's too early" I keep exclaiming, he sighs and walks to the living room "I'm not having my babies yet Chris, They are not ready!" by this time i'm talking alone because chris is gathering the stuff we need from the house.

"JOAQUÍN, WAKE UP, OUR GIRL IS HAVING A BABY" Chris yelled to wake up his husband, he jumped from the bed and while Chris walked me to the car, Joaquin brought me a clean dress and a towel for the car. A bag full of baby stuff was hanging on his shoulder.

Jesus, this can't be happening.

I started hyperventilating in the car, the very act of giving birth, terrifying the shit out of me. 8 months with this babies inside of me. I could not lose them, I couldn't bare with it. 8 months is till pretty good time for a baby, right? they can survive, or not? oh my god. i can't breathe, I want to throw up-

"Valerie? Listen to me, calm Down, you're fine, doing that will hurt you and the babies" Chris looked at me while joaquin drove quickly . My breathing was hitched on my throat, i couldn't calm down. I can't even breathe, my head hurts, my chest hurts.

"Chris, it's happening, I don't want anything bad to happen, I cant. Please. please" I felt out of air, my lungs are collapsing, I'm gonna die right here and my babies will die inside me. Oh my god what have i done to deserve this.

Oh Jesus, they can't, they have to be saved, even if I die. I have to stay alive at least until we reach the hospital.

He held my hand and squeezed it, making me look at him "hey honey... Inhale with me" he really inhaled a big Gulp of air, he had a subtle smile on his face as he looked me in the eyes

I followed him, inhaling.

"keep the air in" he said keeping his. And then he released. I just did whatever he was doing, just copying his actions, trying to calm myself for the sake of these babies.

"okay, exhale...... Inhale again"

My breathing went back to normal and minutes later I was already on the OR. Having an emergency C-section, it was impossible for the doctors to keep the babies inside for longer, I was awake during the surgery but my body was numb from the waist down.

It wasn't really that much. A few weeks, they were good to be born, but I was petrified. I would never forgive myself again if i didn't deliver these babies safe and sound.

My family was in the waiting room, Chris and joaquin too, I couldn't wait till i could take my babies home to the beautiful cribs I bought them.

I looked as they cut on my belly, I couldn't feel anything at all. They all seemed calmed, like this is something they do everyday, actually, they kind of do, but this is my first labor, everybody is just doing this like robots, i'm the only one freaking out.

The little girl came out crying loudly I started crying with her as I watched the nurses cleaning her. I saw her for a few seconds and she was so gorgeous, so tiny, so pink,

"I want to hold her" I pulled my arms out, they finished the cleaning and wrapped her in the purple blankets i got them. They placed my little girl in my arms and i stroked her forehead softly as she kept crying her lungs out, strong lungs I see.

"Going for baby Number two" The doctor said, and i just kept the girl in my arms while they did their job, i wasn't feeling anything anyways, just adoration for the girl in my arms, she was so gorgeous, and you could already see a curl in her thin and scattered hair. Her eyes were dark, deep brown like her father's, I wonder if Damian will look like him too, or he will look like me?

"Okay, we have the boy, Dr. Drew, close her." the doctor ordered the other doctor, i think it was a student, and then he turned around to the table where they were cleaning my other baby and started inspecting him, my little girl didn't need the doctor to check on her, what's going on? until I heard "he's too pale, Dr. Khali, he needs an emergency transfusion, NOW!"

Everything happened too fast, Someone put my baby in a rolling crib and they ran out of the OR with him , I couldn't even speak not knowing what was happening , too overwhelmed to do something. Seconds later they took my little girl from my arms to place her in an incubator.

I started crying loud trying to get off the bed with my hands even if I couldn't even move my legs. I was not gonna let them take them away from me. The nurses tried to make me calm, but i couldn't be calm, they had taken both of my babies out of here, i didn't know what was happening, I screamed, cried, and pushed the nurses,

Nothing else could stop me from being with my babies. But Everything went black seconds later after I saw the doctor injecting something on my IV.

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