We're Not Okay.

Secrets that im hiding

"it's fucking freezing out there"

"it's 2 in the morning gus no shit, and you gave me your jacket"

i said laughing as we walk into his room, i plopped myself on the bed and he laid beside me

i turned to my side to face him

"Ru"

he said

"yeah"

"listen... i know you're not doing the best and i know that i was one of the reasons but i'm here, i'll always be here"

he said as he held my hand, i laid my head on his shoulder and sure enough i started to tear up cuz i'm a crybaby

but not necessarily crying but just tears rolling down my face but no sounds no scrunched up face just tears

he looked at me and was confused

"are you okay?"

i looked up at him a million answers where running through my head none of which was the truth

but i decided not to tell him the whole truth but sugar coat it just a little

"i'm just fucking... exhausted"

and by a little i mean a lot

~Peep~

she told me she was exhausted but i knew that something wasn't right

the way she looked up at me with a straight face but tears spilling out her eyes

it was like her body was reacting with the way she felt but her... she felt nothing.

i kissed her on the forehead then rested my head on top of hers and said

"me too"

we laid in bed and just stayed up talking, we got to know each other more

i found out she's mixed with not only White but Hispanic and a bit of black her dad was mulatto and her mom is Hispanic

i didn't know that i don't know her mom much and i know her dad is dead but that's about it

she never talked much about him just that he died of cancer

it was like even her saying how he died causes her pain, she was obviously closer with her dad than her mom

she tells me how her and her mom argue all the time so that's why her mom drinks so much, that and the death of her dad

her mother and father were madly in love so when he died it was a lot for her mom, too much actually

i told her about my mom and dad and why they got divorced

i saw the woman my dad was cheating on my mom with all the time, i knew it was wrong but at the time i was to young to comprehend all of that