Everything Sucks (Book 2 of It's Not Over)

March Sucks

It's been over a month since Roman cheated on me. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to see him. I didn't even want to be in the same house as him. So, I went to stay with my dad. I know, it might seem childish, but I was hurting. A lot. I left my engagement ring and packed my bags that exact same day and asked my dad to pick me up.

I didn't tell him what happened. I just said I was homesick. I was mad at Roman, but I didn't want my dad or Patton to hate him. I was mad at him, but I still loved him.

Practice became a nightmare as the days went on without us talking. Luckily we didn't interact much while performing so there was no need to worry about anything going wrong on stage of we had a gif coming up. I honestly couldn't even remember if we had a gig coming up. That's his mad I was with him. I forgot our fucking schedule.

Logan was really loud when he was chewing Roman out that night and had ended up waking the entire house. So, no one was too pleased with Roman. Remus was disappointed in him because he did something stupid while drunk. De was mad because of his interrupted sleep. Logan was royally pissed because Roman hurt me.

I didn't want them mad at him for any reason. This was between the two of us. No one else had to be hurt or upset in this situation. But, they were. And part of me felt like it was my fault.  Like I let them down by being upset.

I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's just how my mind goes sometimes.

"Virgil, can I talk to you?"

I stopped ripping down my guitar to see Roman looking at me with guilt in his eyes. I sighed heavily and shifted my weight so my left hip popped out a bit. "What is it?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest and glared up at the taller man.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It is fucking hard to look tough, menacing, and angry when you're shorter than the person you're mad at. I'm like a ducking pissed off kitten right now! I'm small and non-threatening!

"I'm really sorry about what I did, Virge. I know just saying sorry won't make you forgive me. I don't want to make you forgive me. I want to earn your forgiveness and trust again. I love you. I meant it every time I said it and I mean it now."

"You cheated on me, Roman. You went out and got drunk, knowing how you are when you're drunk, and cheated on me. How can I possibly forgive you for that? How could I forgive myself if I forgave you for that?"

"I know, Virgil. I know. I can't even forgive myself. Please let me make it up to you though." He got down on his knees and clasped his hands together, looking up at me with pleading eyes. "I'm begging you."

I remained silent for a moment. I wasn't sure what to say or do. Taking a deep breath I let it out slowly and shook my head. " I have to think about. Like seriously think about it. I'm sorry, " I turned and hurried out of the studio, not trusting myself not to cry. Not trusting myself not to throw my arms around him and forgive him.

This was the first time he ever did something that hurt me. But it was such a big thing. I didn't know how to handle it. Was I being too harsh? Should I just forgive him?

I didn't even know who to ask about this. Patton couldn't find out. Logan wasn't good with emotions. Remus kept suggesting I stab him. And De just told me that only I could really answer the questions I was having.

My friends are fucking useless sometimes.

Why couldn't there just be an instruction manual for relationships with a troubleshooting guide for situations like this? Not that it would help me and since I always throw out the instruction manuals.

Once I got him I went up to my room and crashes on my bed with a loud groan. I hate adult life. I really do.