Never Been Yours -COMPLETED (UNEDITED)

Kabanata 07

Kabanata 07

Cheating

I'm a bit tipsy, but I know what I'm doing, and staring at my ceiling now makes me feel like I still can't get over what happened inside Cristan's car! That was not part of my decision to let him bring me home! Ang sabi'y ihahatid lang, hindi naman nasabi na may make-out palang magaganap!

I am not that kind of woman who kisses a person who is not my boyfriend. But maybe it's the alcohol thingy that I wouldn't understand, driving you uncontrollably? But who am I kidding, then? Ilang beses na ba akong nalasing sa Canada, but I have never kissed someone, only Ruin. He is my first kiss, and that's because he has been my boyfriend for how many years now?

And kissing another man while you are in a relationship is fucking cheating! Forgodness sake, I cheated on my long time boyfriend, Ruin.

It hurts for me to know that I cheated on Ruin, which is really not my thing. I'm faithful and loyal to him, as he is to me. So why did I do it?

There's a part of me that says that it's okay. I'm under the spell of alcoholic drinks, but I know that I'm aware of what I'm doing. May parte rin sa sarili ko na nagsasabing okay lang 'yon, as long as hindi malalaman ni Ruin, walang problema.

Hypocrite! Stop justifying the things that you've done!

Hanggang ngayon, parang naririnig ko pa ang mga ungol na umalpas mula sa labi ko kagabi! It may sound so pathetic, but I admit, Cristan's kisses are so damn addictive. It felt like it was my first time kissing someone, but on the other hand, it feels like I already tasted his lips; I already devoured them; I just couldn't remember. I really hate to admit that I like it; no, I love it. I love how he made me feel.

Maaga akong gumising, kahit na sobrang late kung nakatulog kagabi. Inaantok pa ako, pero pinilit ko ang sariling bumangon ng maaga para makapag-exercise at jogging. I already planned this yesterday, kaya kahit pagod ang katawan ay nagawa ko pa ring bumangon.

Alas singko pa lang nang bumaba ako. Alas tres y medya na ako dinalaw ng antok kagabi kaya isa't kalahating oras lang ang tulog ko.

Paglabas ko, si Ate Sammy kaagad ang nakita ko na nagpu-push up sa may gardin. Her muscles flex every time she pushes herself up.

I should do push-ups and pull-ups too. But that's for next week or maybe tomorrow. I really don't have yet the courage to do such a thing, pero para lang malibang ako, gagawin ko. Aside from the racing this past few weeks, I don't have any thing to do. Mom wouldn't let me work in our store, kasi wala rin naman akong interes doon. Tho, nagpa-plano akong magtayo ng motor parts shop ko one of these days, pero kailangan ko pang pag-isipan iyan ng mabuti.

Wearing my black leggings and a black and pink sports bra, paired with my white FILA shoes, dumiritso na ako nang labas sa gate at nagsimula nang mag-stretching. Naglagay rin ako ng Bluetooth earbuds para hindi ako mabagot habang nag-jo-jogging sa loob ng subdivision.

Ilang laps ang ginawa ko, bago ako nagpahinga. Natanggal na ang antok ko, at tanging pagod na lang ang naramdaman ngayon. I catch my breath as I open my bottle of water and drink it straight.

Naglalakad na lang ako pabalik sa bahay. Dumiritso ako sa garahe upang tingnan kung naka-uwi na ba ang motorsiklo ko. Thankfully, Cristan did what he said. Nandito na nga ang motor ko, safe and sound. No scratch!

Pagpasok ko sa bahay, nasa pintuan pa lang ako pero gusto ko nang takbohin ang distansiya ng kwarto ko mula sa pinto.

Cristan is sitting on a sofa, staring at me from head to toe. He looks so irritated by what he saw. He clenched his jaw as he surveyed me. I feel a bit embarrassed by the way he looks at me.

Memories from last night poured over me like cold water. I can't react. I don't know how to react either; lalo na ngayong seryoso akong tinitigan ni Cristan, habang prente itong nakaupo sa sofa.

I felt like I was cheating and getting caught. Hindi gumana ang isip ko. All I knew was that I was just staring at him... shocked.