Simply Love [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 

Harry

 

October 17, 2013

 

“Don’t try to fucking fool me, Tomlinson. Just because I’ve come out as gay to you, doesn’t mean I’m stupid. You’re a bastard. I love you, but I don’t want to talk to you again.” I yell before storming out, stomping as loudly as I can and slamming the door loud enough to wake any sleeping soul within a ten mile radius and hard enough to probably damage the hinges. “Fuck you, Louis Tomlinson. I don’t need you. Go die.” I mutter to myself, ignoring the tingling of my lips. The kiss, I can’t even explain it. It was both the best and worst thing ever, but I want to forget it. I walk as quickly as I can to Zayn’s room, wiping futilely at my eyes and sniffling. Zayn’s the first person I can think to go to, so I go with that. I don’t even knock on the door, I just walk in. He could be in the shower or anything, but I don’t care. He’s in the kitchen drinking a glass of water.

“Harry?” He looks at me oddly, placing down his glass. “Come here.” He opens his arms and I lean into them; he hugs me tightly. “C’mon, clam down. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” I take a few deep breaths before nodding.

“Yeah, um. I’ve been in love with Louis since X-Factor times. I’m not even scared to admit it; but he’s decided to use the fact that I’m gay against me.” I proceed to explain the entire thing to Zayn, following him out to the living area and sitting on the couch. “He told me that him being with El and not being gay were both false after he kissed me, and I told him that he’s a bastard and I never wanted to talk to him again.” I sob, burying my face in a cushion.

“Oh, mate.” Zayn says softly. “I don’t know what my verdict on that is, yet. You’re welcome to hang here for the day though. I can stay out of your way if that’s what you need.

“Can I have a hug?” I whisper, and Zayn nods while enveloping me in a warm hug.

~

I sit as far away as I can from Louis in the car and steer clear of him while we prepare for tonight.

On stage I’m forced to interact with him some while I do my best to sing with my ever-persistent croaky voice. Louis is not as lively on stage, he’s very obviously sad. People will be talking about it on Twitter. I don’t have it in me to care. He stepped way out of line, pushed my boundaries too far, and I’m not okay with it. I should probably speak to him about it, I think while listening to his Little Things solo, waiting for my own part to come around. Too much confrontation, I decide as I start to sing.  

 

After the show, I go to the fifth and thus-far empty room to sleep. I leave all my clothes and stuff in Louis’ room; aiming to just fall asleep without bothering to brush my teeth, change or shower. I feel filthy, but I ignore it. Sadness is the only thing I can feel right now. It takes me ages to get to sleep, particularly with a stuffed up nose and a throat that apparently likes to make me feel like I’m swallowing razorblades. My mind keeps going in horribly repetitive circles that I really want to stop right now. I’ve never really been scared of confrontation – always thinking that setting things straight is the way to go. This is Louis though, and Louis is different. I don’t want to discuss that kiss which meant so much to me, but probably was only a spur of the moment, mocking thing to him. He seems to think that just because I’m gay I’m immediately interested in him. I am, but if he consciously knows that he’s taking it for granted and using it against me. I don’t want to face the fact that maybe the kiss meant nothing to him.