Simply Love [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 

Harry

 

October 23, 2013

 

“I love you.” He says. I feel as if an adequate reaction would be to slap him (that would be a rather gay move), but I’m too gob smacked to actually do anything but gape at him. He holds my gaze and doesn’t back down. He’s always been strong-willed, but after dropping such a bomb I’d expect him to be slightly wary.

“N-no.” I involuntarily stutter.

“Yes.” He insists, stepping towards me. I take a step backwards the same size.

“No.” I raise my voice again.

“Yes, I do.” His voice is still soft and strained from being sick. I gave him that cold.

“No!” I shout as loud as I can, but he doesn’t back down. Instead, he takes another step forward. I take yet another step backward. I know I’m nearing the wall and this won’t end well unless I put a stop to it. However, I’m not sure if I want to put a stop to it. My bottom lip starts to shake and tears well up in my eyes. I feel childish and, as much as I hate to admit this, naïve. He’s using me, lying to me.

“Harry,” his ever soft voice stays even as he puts his hands on my shoulders and steps towards me. “Please, believe me.” His voice turns to pleading, his eyes desperate.

“No! You’ve been lying to me and everyone this entire time, if what you’re saying about El is true. She was my friend too, but now our relationship is ruined because of your bloody ‘girlfriend’ escapade. I can’t believe you did that, and I can’t believe you when you say you love me. You have no idea how hard this is on me!” I snap, harshly shrugging his hands off my shoulders.

“You think it hasn’t been hard on me, too?!” He shouts, eyes wide and frantic. “I’ve been in love with you since the start, but I thought you were that cute, charming little straight boy wrongly portrayed as a womanizer! I kept this secret from everyone except El, she and you are currently the only people who know of my sexuality. Then, when you came out to me, Haz, I flipped. I didn’t know what to do. I felt so bad for being the guy who hid his sexuality, but I couldn’t come out immediately after you. I didn’t mean to kiss you, it was a spur of the moment thing. Then, I don’t know, this shit started and now I don’t even know anymore. I’m really sorry. For everything.” His apology seems really genuine, but even so, I’m exceedingly wary of accepting it.

“But,” I pause, only to be cut off.

“Look, this might take ages to get over, ages to explain, but El can back me up. All I’ve said is true. In fact, I can call her now,” he reaches for his pocket, presumably his phone.

“No, I-I can’t deal with that right now. Can we- I know it’ll take a while to overcome this, but… Give me a hug.” He gives me a strange look, but does so anyway. His arms spread wide and I step closer to him, letting his arms curl around me. He cradles my head to his chest despite the fact I’m taller than him and I breathe in his scent.

“I’m really sorry.” He whispers as I listen to his beating heart. “I feel like a terrible person.” Normally, I’d shut down his pessimistic thoughts, but I have to silently agree with the fact that he’s been a total dick. He seems to understand my silence, simply rubbing circles on my back.

The hug lasts much longer than I thought it would, but nevertheless when I pull back, my cheeks are tear-stained.

“Hey, hey,” Louis coos. “Smile for me.”

“Sorry Lou, but could you maybe leave? I’d like some time alone.” I whisper. Louis nods and I send him a small, grateful smile.

“Sure thing, H.” He farewells me, looking slightly forlorn and like he feels like doing something but knows he shouldn’t. I know exactly what he’s thinking. He’s smart in not doing what he feels (kissing me, obviously) because I’d probably just push him off and there’d be yet more drama.

“Yeah, bye.” I whisper as the door snicks shut. As soon as it does I mutter, “holy shit,” and hang my head in exhaustion and, well, I don’t even know.

I’m both overjoyed and saddened by Louis’ sudden honest streak. I mean, yeah, naturally I’m happy that the guy I’ve been in love with for over three years confessed his love to me, but it also makes things difficult. Two gays in a band of five guys – probably not socially smiled upon, and the fact that we’re together… I’m sure a bunch of fans would be happy – it’s impossible to not see the abundance of Larry stuff that they tweet, even if we try – and I know the boys will be fine with it, but there’s still seven billion people in the world to hate us. I don’t want one (stupid) mistake to endanger our careers.

However, I’m insanely glad he’s come out to me. Only El knows apart from me, and he obviously trusts her a lot, fake relationship or real. That means he trusts me a whole lot, which I’m happy about.

I let out a sigh and sink ungracefully into the couch. I need some time to process and get over this, but there’s no doubt I’ll go back to him. Or to him, as I never really was with him. Either way, no matter how long it takes me to forgive him (I’m secretly hoping it doesn’t take me long, however I don’t think I really have a say in the matter) I will end up doing so, and going to him for comfort.

Really, I’m just too scared to admit it to myself, but…

I love him…

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so its been a week and 2 days since the last update... thats not bad if i do say

also, i told you that last monday was a brilliant day (with an update anf four and internet and what) but it actually sucked balls and every day since then has done the same, even my birthday. so... sorry if anything or whatever. 

yeah.

anyway, love you all.