1, Addison

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One - Addison

"Mommy, I have hockey, tonight right?" I handed Brent my eight-year-old son his lunch box

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"Mommy, I have hockey, tonight right?" I handed Brent my eight-year-old son his lunch box.

"Yes, where is your sister?"

"Is Dad taking me?"

"I don't think so bud, but I'll be there cheering my booty off. Where is Brae?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Probably still upstairs she was crying." Throwing my head back with a sigh I pointed to the mudroom.

"Shoes please, we can't miss the bus this morning." He ran off, as I headed upstairs. "Little love, you ready to go?" Opening her door, the rest of the way, Braelynn, my three-year-old was sitting on her bed staring down at the floor. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I don't wanna go a school anymore. Dey make fun of me."

"What do they make fun of you for? You're amazing." I patted her leg.

"Ecause Daddy doesn wive here anymore, dey say he doesn wove us anymore and dat I can't be fwriends with dem unwess I have a daddy." I closed my eyes and rubbed them, because honestly how do you explain all of this to someone so little, so innocent.

I can't just blurt out, 'oh sweetie its fine, your daddy and I were young and in love. Your brother was the most amazing oopsie we ever encountered at 19, then we had you because we loved one another and thought it was the right thing to do. He didn't want to marry mommy, because he didn't believe in it, so mommy just continued to keep moving on every single day. Finally, Daddy decided he wanted another woman and moved on from us way before you ever knew about it. Now here mommy is trying to hold her shit together at 27 single with two little monkeys.'

No, you can't say that to a three-year-old. To be honest I don't think I'll tell that to anyone besides my best friend and my sister. Gavin and I are still close, we did everything putting the kids first. Exactly how every co-parenting relationship should go, except I felt like I had to force him to see them most of the time. He gets them off the bus every day but that is pretty much the extent of him seeing them. I'm actually scared to put them in an after-school program knowing that will probably be the last we see of him.

He moved on, moved in with another woman and takes care of her kids while he isn't at work. Even though we split up over 6 months ago, our kids just found out officially a month ago. Right after Christmas we had to break the news to them because Gavin wasn't coming home, all of his things were already out and I was left paying the rent all by myself, and everything for the kids. So, instead of the truth once again I took a deep breath.

"Little love, you know your daddy loves you more than anything in this world."

"Yea, but everyone at school dey have parents dat still wive togever."

"Yea, well 40-50% of them won't last." I closed my eyes realizing that was not the right thing to say but oh well, bad moms club am I right?

"Really?"

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