Dreamt of Heaven

Chapter 12

Lexa POV
Once we left the bathroom, we started making our way to our seats. I thought about how my hand itched to be holding hers. I thought about how her hand fit perfectly with mine. I thought about how holding her hand gave me a sense of safety and dare I say cared for. I thought about how Clarke somehow got me to open up about something I haven't talked to anyone about before.

How is it possible for me to open up to someone I met a week ago but not to someone who's been there with me since my childhood? How is it possible that Clarke can do this to me? How have I allowed someone to make me vulnerable?

To be Commander is to be alone.

"Lexa, where are our seats?" Clarke said pulling me out of my thoughts. I look around to notice that we're in the ballroom. I realize that this is the perfect excuse to hold her hand once again. I grab a hold her hand and start making my way to our seats.

I made sure that we didn't have any seats too close to the front but also not too close to the back. I was the hostess of this ball although not all of the attendees knew, I didn't want them to know. All they knew was that it was a ball that I would be attending.

"And this is us," I said motioning to our seats.

"It's just us? Everyone else has like six people at their tables?" Clarke says with genuine worry. I chuckle at her comment but then quickly realize she doesn't know me the way everybody does. I let go of her hand and start moving to her chair.

"Clarke, just sit I'll explain once we are settled" I said while pulling out her chair almost as if motioning her to sit down. She does as I suggested and allows me to settle down before bombarding me with questions

"So, care to explain why we are sitting alone in this very big and very filled ballroom?" Clarke said staring at the card with her name on it.

I stare at Clarke not knowing how to exactly respond properly to her without scaring her away. I don't want to scare her away. There's something about her, I don't want her to go away.

"Have you ever heard of the Commander?" I asked her figuring I might as well start off with some of the worse. Clarke scrunched up her eyebrows seeming to be in deep thought.

"Not that I can recall. What does that have to do with anything?" Clarke asks lifting her gaze from the card to me. I peel my eyes off of her and stare blankly ahead

"That's what they call me, the Commander, the almighty of the business world. The heartless, ruthless Commander who doesn't care for anyone or anything. That's why the reporters were asking who you were to me," I said finally looking at her once I finished the sentence. I tried masking my feelings from her but failed miserably. I noticed her eyes soften.

"That's why we are sitting alone, well besides the fact that I organized this. They are scared to sit me with someone whom isn't on my business team. Why would they sit the emotionless Commander with other people?" I said looking away from her, keeping my voice monotone.

"Lexa," Clarke said while grabbing my hand. "Look at me," I do as she told me to. Her blue eyes pierce through mine, I swear I could worship her eyes if I were allowed. "You are not heartless. Ever since I met you, you've shown me nothing but emotions. You might be the Commander of the business world but you are most definitely not what people think you are. Maybe you should show people this side of you, to change their opinion." Clarke says while trying to make me feel better about myself.

Being called Commander never really nerved me enough to do something about it. Partly because that's what I am. I am the ruthless Commander everyone thinks I am. I am as heartless as everyone thinks I am.