Bagatelle

10.

Eddy was trying really hard not to be so obvious.

He fought his growing desire to touch him, and an almost uncontrollable  instinct to hug him every time he saw him. And, although it was quite obvious for anyone watching the two of them interacting, it wasn't for Brett.

To his fortune, Brett seemed to started to show more often, close to him.
At the coffee shop, close to his classroom, at the entrance and the bus stop. He loved finding (looking for) him everywhere, but still wasn't enough.

He knew Brett was (for some reason he didn't understand), finally letting him join for his piano practices after school. So he was making sure to be there every time.

Whenever Brett played, the room feel warmer. And Eddy's heart, that was always rushing, at the edge of something, felt finally calm and full.
He could stayed still, not moving, just hearing Brett played for hours.

Eddy have thought about it many times.

While he watched Brett filling the exercise Eddy made for him to practice.
He thought about taking his hand, and confessing his love for him. But every time he imagined that, Brett's answer was an awful cold sight that made him woke up from his dream, almost crying.

Still, no one could stopped him from staring at him while he played, or walked, or drink the coffee he made for him with a tiny smile growing in his lips.
No one could stopped him from dreaming how they would make it to music college and played together, succeeded, and then get married and live happily ever after....Right?

He felt a bit guilty the first weeks, but as Brett was totally unaware of his many suspicious behaviours, he thought Brett haven't even considerate it a possibility.

Maybe is better like this. To stay here, close enough to touch him, with out breaking it. That thing that they started to built the first day they decided to pursue music.

He loved having him at his house, hearing his playing, showing him music. If he did anything dangerous, he would lost everything.

Was it worth the risk?

Also, there was something bothering him.
If Brett was a girl, a crush would be easier to talk. But Brett was a boy, an older boy who seems to have zero interest in anything besides music.

What do boys do when they are in love with other boys?

He looked in the only place he felt comfortable with asking: manga. Reading that manga, was kind of an epiphany for Eddy, a glorious revelation.

Do men like that?, he thought looking closer in to the page to understand what was going on in that very confusing, yet somehow, arousing scene.

Maybe he didn't wanted to do exactly that to Brett so suddenly. But he knew for sure he wanted him to feel good. To be happy. To smile.

If I would dare to kiss him, would that make Brett happy?

Who knows. I mean, his smiles were coming  more and more often, but he still couldn't find what was exactly the thing triggering them.

Coffee, probably.

That's why, the day Brett asked him to go to his house, he jumped in shock.

“Your house?”, Eddy said shaking a little. “What for?”, he added.
Brett pouted. Eddy held a laughter.

“Well”, he mumbled, “I really don't know”.

Eddy laugh out loud. Brett blushed intensely.
Agh. Forget it. I didn't want you near me, anyway.
“If you don't want to come, it's okay”, Brett said mad. “See you, tomorrow”, he turned around, willing to get out of the music room.

Eddy stopped laughing instantly and got up quickly.

“I want to go”, he said firmly. “I would love to meet your house, Brett”, he added smiling, feeling his heart pounding on his lips.

Brett stayed still. His cheeks turned red. Those words were very similar to that character on the manga...

“Ok”, Brett whispered. He took a hand to his chest, and turned around to say, “I see you tomorrow, then”. And he let out the sweetest smile, not able to contain it.
And he leaved the room as fast as a lightning.

Eddy fall on the bench. His legs shaking.
“I see you tomorrow, Brett”.



***
Eddy was standing in front of the white door. He made an extra effort to keep his hair on his place, which took him hours. Now, he was a bit late, and a bit sweaty from running to there with his coat on.

Before ringing the bell, he tried to dry his face a little, and brushed his hair between his fingers.
He took a deep breath, and rang the bell.