TEA LEAVES N DAYDREAMS | ONE SHOTS

watermelon sugar - jeon jeongguk

genre: kinda angst??? sexual tension??? hngh

in which, once again, she and jeongguk waver between friends and lovers.

word count: almost 700 sigh. it would be more if it wasn't late.

yoooooo tbh i was just writing this as i go... i just really wanted to write but lately my brain hasn't been operating properly so uh,, yeah!!! i basically forced brain juice to come out of my uh,, brain and write something so perhaps thats why i'm compensating with pretty words that only come out of aesthetic poetry,, except,, it's randomly put in places it shouldn't be,, good job ji

*:..｡o○　　○o｡..:*

How exactly she ended up in his bedroom, she doesn't even know. Not a clue. She thinks she was there to listen to cassette tapes with her best friend, but her impeding feelings tell her otherwise. He's going on and on about the Sex Pistols, and none of his comments about their new album is registering in her mind. Maybe it's the two throat-stinging beers they had at the bar fucking with her memory.

(Again, she doesn't know how she ended up in his bedroom.)

"Gosh, are you even listening to anything I'm saying?" he asks, feigning an offended tone, only for it to break with a chuckle.

"Totally," she replies, but there's a hint of playful sarcasm in her voice, prompting her friend to rub his knuckles into her head. It's softer than usual.

"Asshole."

"No, you."

Then, after a heartbeat and a sigh, "What's up?"

Nothing really. I just think you're beautiful. Lovely. And I miss you. Even though we're together, right here. I want to be together like we used to be. Singing in a karaoke room. Talking on our way to school. Acting like a couple but not being a couple, complaining about both our lack and plethora of not-good-enough lovers and one night stands. 

She doesn't say that.

Except, maybe she just did.

And Jeongguk doesn't really say anything, only a 'what' on the tip of his tongue. Glitter and blush spread across her body like wildfire, despite the winter breeze flowing through the atmosphere.

From there it's mere silence, leaving her to simply catch his eye and then, inevitably, the rest of his ethereal presence, born by nature and sculpted from heaven.

She thinks it's criminal, the way his brown eyes resemble heavenly pools of golden honey, even when the room is dark, its scent reminiscent of liquor, tears, and cigarettes. The way his lips curve into a lazy grin as her head finds its place on his shoulder, a couple of black strands of hair falling across her face, while they sit on the edge of a bed. The way his voice reminds her of every beautiful song ever composed, even though the question he asks you almost goes in one ear and out the other. 

Criminal, it is indeed, the way he gives her a lifetime of love when their lips suddenly meet, lock, and move against each other, all flesh, teeth, and smeared rose-tinted lip gloss. It's instantaneous. It's a habit. It's a bad one. But it's electric.

They were supposed to have ended their affair, staying friends who just happened to look at each other as if the other hung all of the stars in the sky, connected them and made all of their wishes come true. 

Yet some things never end.

"Just for tonight," is all he says. A simple hum is all she responds with, before giving in to his touch.

The door is locked and shoes are taken off, not a beat missed. There is no quiet jazz playing in the background, no rain pitter-pattering against their bedroom window, and maybe that's why the only thing she can hear is the sound of her own heart, not racing, but slowly pounding like a drum preparing for its performance. And when a cold, chill places itself between hesitation and impulse, but heated tension between the two fizzles into the icy air. 

She knows better than to let feelings talk.

And because she knows better, she doesn't let feelings talk. Instead, she lets feelings trace circles into his milky, star-speckled skin with the tips of fingers, leave hues of purple, red, and pink along his collarbone, and tear her guard down without trying, before finding all of her previous inhibitions and fears disappearing and submerging themselves within the galaxy of Jeon Jeongguk.

It's a trap for sure, and it's bound to end in heartbreak, but right now, she doesn't care. Right now, all she wants to do is breathe in the raw, sweet taste of strawberries and infinite, sunkissed summers spilling from the edge of his lips.

Just for tonight.

Never again.