Someone, please save me.... (Shinkai)

Chapter 0 What Kaito really feels

Listen to this music for this chapter, it suits it...

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He was done, with everything. Done with the people are he was there since he was a kid. He was done with them, as they aren't better than anyone else. They call themself his family, but in reality, they aren't. They wouldn't accept his other persona Kaito Kid. That part belongs to him as well. So why can't they just stop talking like he is the worst person out there? He tried to get them to make them like Kaito Kid, but it wasn't working. Both despise his other half. And you know what these comments are so harmful....

It makes him drown in pAiN...

 Why do they curse Kaito kid out? Is really no one seeing how harmful they are to him? Is no one noticing how he is dying on the inside each time they are talking about Kaito kid like he someone who is just a criminal? Is he that bad? Maybe that is why he is right now cutting his wrists with a razor. As this is the only time when he feels something, feels alive. 

'Is anyone there? Is someone there for him? Can someone make that nightmare stop? Can someone make the torture stop? CaN sOmEoNe HeLp Me! JuSt SoMeOnE mAkE iT sToP!'

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Kuroba Kaito always felt AlOnE. Yes, he had Aoko and Nakamori, but they aren't his family. When his father died his mom less and less was at home, until she left HiM and let Nakamori take care of him. They are nice, but he needed his motherly love. A love that no one could give him, as a child. He was still young 10 years old actually when she left him. He couldn't understand it and thought she was hating him. Aoko was too rash and Nakamori was alright, but he was way too loud and rash-like Aoko.

He always wondered how it was to have a mother with you? How was it to be loved by your mother? He saw it in her eyes how she was hurt when looking at him because he looked so similar to Dad. He felt like...

...downing in sorrow...

...drowning in loneliness

But then the brit came, and he thought he could understand him. He has done these pranks to make someone notice how he needs help. He needs someone who is there for him. At first the other was like Aoko about Kaito Kid and he felt hurt, yet at the same time, he wasn't really feeling hurt. Pranks where the only relieve which gave him, pranks and being Kaito Kid. It made him forgot for a moment the pain he felt. It felt so PaInFuL.

But soon he stopped calling him Kid in front of the others. Soon they became friends. Was he really his friends or was that just an act? At least his loneliness felt a bit more bearable with the brit there.  

Soon another person was there which made his heist a bit more interesting and fun. When was it really that he felt like that? He didn't remember, but soon that stopped as well. At least Conan seemed different and they worked together sometimes, but soon he began to feel lonely as he felt like the other couldn't understand him. Yet he was making it bearable as well...

...still, he was still drowning in the pain

He missed the time when his Dad was still there, everything was alright. That time he felt genuine happiness. It was a good time, and he missed it so much. He missed his Dad so much, that it was painful just to think about him. Kaito wanted to have his mother with him, to tell him that everything would be alright, but she almost never got home. It ached his heart, it was so painful. His thoughts always were...

'Poker face, don't let the others show how you really feel. How you drown in pain. HoW you DiE with each day.'

Each day felt more and more drowning. Then his mother came home, everything seemed normal. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Still, the loneliness was there and it was killing him on the inside more as he knew that his mother was just acting. It felt strange that he still could feel the pain, the torture he felt. He almost felt nothing anymore and just wanted it to end....