imagine being left with a dozen pieces that don't make sense between all that imagine trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. at the moment i feel that wil so much confusion, the two sides of it is letting myself re-enter the bit of happiness i had with him or the other side is just hear him out and walk away, this is where i am stuck. part of me wants him back and to see if he has changed, but im concerned with having to almost have to play 2nd to his work and i dont know about that. will it really be worth it, maybe only seeing each other once or twice a month until the time comes to maybe merge our lives together, i feel like if i dont do this i will regret it on some level. eventhough it hurt like hell when our communication just broke. i really dont want to repeat having a broken heart again, i miss when it wasnt so complicated but i guess it needed to break us down to realise we need each other more than what we thought we needed. im not gonna lie and say i dont think about him and miss him, he is the guy i flirted with in front of my best friend when i first met him. once we broke up i remeber finding myself wondering what i had done wrong and how i managed to fuck up something that was going okay. everything went downhill, every night i would go to my bed and cry. After discovering what happened to him in the days before were communication broke between us, that one made me feel like I let him down eventhough he says it wasnt my fault it's the fact that what I could have done to help him recover but isnt there a thing about hitting rock bottom and recovering really well, things like that shape who you are, if my other exes lived in the same country and the relationships went the same way they did and they wanted back into my life I wouldn't have let them near me, theres so much for me to learn about him and fuck I think I'm ready to be there for him. Honestly I have no idea where things are with him, I know that I've grown alot and became more independent maybe the decision for counselling has helped out, I'm that woman that knows what she wants and goes and gets it
Why is it hurting so much waiting for him, it's his birthday and I wanna be with him celebrating, I miss him so much it hurts. I wish he could read this and see that I need communication from him, it feels like I'm burying my feelings in fucking guys that mean nothing, I wish there was someone to help with extracting the pain of him and the traces in my life. keeping myself healthy isnt a top priority for me, i sometimes skip meals and i dont even care, most nights when i get to my bed im crying
YOU ARE READING
the cracks that appear
Short Storythis is a story based on events that took place in my life, some chapters are fiction and are not. the book indulges of dreams that once crossed my mind. the book also gives a deep understanding of my past and how i became the woman i am today. Pl...
