when fire meets air

Chapter 11: Zuko

He didn't know what he was doing.
One second, he was cold and unable to bend due to that, what did Toph call it again? It started with a w but he didn't recall what she had said.
Then he was an idiot and kissed him.
And then he was warm...
No...
He was scalding.
He felt like his skin was going to melt off and puddle around him in a pool of scarred flesh and disappointment.
He felt flames tickle his finger tips, the rarity of him creating his own element out of thin air rippling through his body.
He was a ticking time bomb, and he didnt want Aang to be a casualty of his explosion.
So he jumped back and into the water, hoping that the pond would put out the flame and make it so that the fire hurt didn't hurt anyone...
But when he landed in the water, he was sucked into a hole and the fire started to boil the liquid around him.
He swam to the surface as best he could, the flame beginning to burn the space behind his eyes.
Zuko grabbed a hold of a ledge, ignoring the surrounding cave that he was suddenly in, and rolled onto the shore, his flesh burning.
Oh god it burned.
He closed his eyes, and felt himself erupt into flame, burning the walls of the cave and himself and he hadnt felt this much pain since his father...
Flashbacks came in waves, erupting into agony that ruptured his mind and brought so many painful memories back into the light that he had shut off.
The duel with his father.
The loss of his mother.
The so many fights that he had lost.
The so many nights where he hadn't slept due to the crippling feeling of nothing that burned into his heart.
The pain.
So much pain.
Caused by him and by his family and by his inner torment.
He was never good enough...
Never...

The world seemed to disappear, and when he opened his eyes, all he felt was pain and all he saw were blue eyes holding as much pain as he felt.
He could feel water wrapping his burns, trying to heal him, but he couldn't...
No, he didn't want to be healed...
He wanted to feel this pain...
He knew he deserved it.
Every single bit of agony wracking through him.
"I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry, I can't believe I let myself do that. I don't deserve this, no..." Zuko whispered, pushing Aang away with his trembling hands.
"I dont deserve to be healed, I deserve this pain. And besides, it's just one more scar to add to my already disgusting body." His tears came faster, each insecurity that he had felt pouring out of his eyes and onto his scarred cheek and he knew right then and there what he had to do.
"Aang." He said, his voice shaking as his heart started to shatter in his chest fully, further and further as he distanced himself mentally and emotionally from the boy in front of him. "I don't know what came over me, but I didn't mean to... do that. I don't like you that way. You must be disgusted and confused, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. It was a mistake." Each word that left his mouth shattered his very heart and his very soul.
Aang, I'm lying.
I do care about you that way.
I do.
But this is for the best.
I don't deserve you.

And with his words seeming to ring in the air around them, he stood up, shaking and in agony as he composed himself, walked over to the lake and swam up to the surface.

From that moment onward, Zuko would act distant.
From that moment onward, Zuko would control himself.

From that moment onward, both of their lives had changed forever.

It was a mistake.

I know very very sad, but trust me, this is just a part of my plan!! Dont worry, the babes wont be apart forever!!!

Anywho, usual self promo, go check out my art account and keep on leaving those beautiful votes and (mostly) beautiful comments!!

Also, kind reminded that I am in uni and am very busy with lots of hard math and science, so be patient with me if I'm slow!!

Toodles,

Dylan ♡