when fire meets air

Chapter 17: Zuko

That night, he went to bed feeling guilty.
Sure, Aang had abandoned him and left him to rot in a prison that stole his innocence, his self-respect, and six years from his life, but there was a small part of him that regretted being so aggressive.
He shut that part away, locking it up in the little crate at the back of his mind that held his memories from the early days of the prison, his past with his father, and the annoying and ever-present feelings he still harboured for Aang.
It wasn't time for guilt, no, it was time for him to get the good god damn rest that he deserved after so many sleepless nights in a hole that only brought back memories from the cave and thoughts of abandonment.
Zuko got into bed, closed his eyes, and hoped for a nightmare-less sleep.
He then opened his eyes again, and the room was still dark, so he tried again, closing them and willing for a blank screen within his mind.
And then he opened them and heard the crickets singing outside and god damn it, it was still night time.
He didn't know if he had slept at all in the periods between those blinks, but he could have sworn that he got at least a little bit of rest.
So he tried again, closing them and this time, when he opened them again, the room was at least a little bit brighter and the crickets had finally decided to finish their concert.

Zuko decided that this was the best amount of sleep he was ever going to get and got out of bed. Once his feet hit the floor, he realised that leaving his bedroom wouldn't be the best decision. If he exited the tiny room he was in now, he would be entering the realm of the Avatar, and he was not particularly feeling like murder today.
He was finally free, and all of the anger he was feeling before had finally slipped away. This feeling, yes, this feeling of bliss was something he never thought he would reach; it was a sort of peace that his uncle had often spoke about on their hunt for the avatar, but it was never something he had fully reached until now. But he had a sinking suspicion that this would not last long. He knew deep down that there was going to be something so small, like a bug hitting a window, that would push him to a point where he breaks and...

The cave.

He was always brought back to that god damn cave. Maybe it was because he knew that that was who he was: a scared child who was so destroyed that he couldn't even love himself. Zuko knew that something over the next four days would change him. He would either return to the prison, forced to spend the rest of his days in solitude, or he would become what he swore to never be: his father. Either way, he was terrified of what would happen if he took a couple steps and walked out that very close and very thin door that separated him from his destiny and the world and everything that the universe had planned for him to be and... And he sat back down onto his bed. 

He closed his eyes. 

He sighed. 

He knew that this wasn't the right place for him, but who was he kidding, rambling on and on about whatever stupid shit his uncle used to spout when they were hunting for the avatar. The universe didn't give a flying turtle duck's ass about him, otherwise it wouldn't have trapped him in that prison when he was merely a child and watched as those disgusting scum bags tore away the very person he was. 

Zuko took a breath and looked opened his eyes, not wanting those horrible images to come back and ruin his good mood. 

But, alas, the universe was not on his side once again and there had to be something to ruin his good god damn mood anyway.

There was a light pitter patter at the door, like someone was knocking but they were too timid to make any loud banging noise. Annoyed, and knowing who it was, Zuko stood again. His anger lit a fire under his ass and he was going to let the little fucker know why the hell he should not knock on the door in the morning, in the evening, or at all. 

But when he opened the door, he couldn't help but have his heart soften a bit. Instead of the annoying, traitorous monk who he was expecting, there was a small winged lemur who just wanted to say hello.