Self Love • Christopher Velez •

Chapter 5; good at nothing

Chapter 5 - Good At Nothing

When they were 19-

"I'm disappointed with a lot of you. Most of you failed and those who passed passed by only a few marks," Dani's teacher told the class. 

Dani's heart started to race. 'I knew I wouldn't do well in this test,' she thought to herself. She had studied the entire night before the exam and she thought she knew what she had to know.’ Of course this happens, what made you think that you’ll do well? Inútil.’ she thought. 

The teacher began to give out everyone’s paper but Dani. She sighed inwardly. Maybe she had done so badly that the teacher wanted to tell her how horrible her results were. Maybe this would cause her to lose her scholarship. Without her scholarship, she would not be able to go to school. She did not know what to do if she did not go to school. She was not good at anything and she would not find a job. Oh god, why was she so useless? Why is she good at noth-

“Except Dani. She did the best in class and scored 89/100. Well done!” Her teacher added and returned her paper to her. Dani gave the teacher a tight lip smile and nodded before looking down at the ground. 

She flipped open her test paper and she clenched her jaw. She felt like she could have done better. ‘Why can’t I do better?’ she thought to herself and throughout the entire class. She knew how to do those questions that she got wong! Why couldn’t she have gotten it right during her test? Why must she always screw up? 

She kept quiet for the rest of the class, trying not to let it get to her. ‘You’re awesome and you’re amazing’. She heard Andrea’s voice in her head telling her that since that was what she would always say to Dani whenever she would leave their room or whenever they separated. She kept repeating the words to herself but she could not help but feel the exact opposite.

After class, Dani walked to her dorm room and went in, waiting for Andrea to arrive. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes. She missed Christopher. She wanted to call him and hear his voice, but she could not waste money on calling him. They only had a phone call once a week and they sent each other a text or two everyday, but it was not enough for her. How could it be enough? They went from speaking to each other everyday for 18 years to only once a week. She sighed. She appreciated Andrea and she was her closest friend who she trusted wholly, but she was not Christopher. She continued lying down and almost falling asleep when she heard the door open - 

“Sexiness is back in the building!” 

Dani opened her eyes and saw Andrea walking in and smiling at her. Dani smiled back and stood up from her bed, grabbing her jacket while Andrea dropped her books on the desk. 

The two of them walked out and to the library while chatting a bit. Dani had started to talk more in the past 10 months since school started. She talked the most to Andrea since Andrea had made it her mission to get Dani to talk to her, which eventually, Dani started saying more than one sentence in a row. She was shocked that Andrea wanted to be her friend and bugged her even after a week of Dani giving short and one-word answers.

As they walked to the library, some of their schoolmates stared at them. Dani tried to do so and it was easy with Andrea by her side. She knew how to get Dani to not pay attention to any of them.

It was not uncommon for their schoolmates to stare at them. The two of them were opposites. Dani preferred wearing dark colours and she stuck with more casual clothes while Andrea was always experimenting with bright colours and different styles. Andrea talked to a lot of people while Dani kept mostly to herself. 

The two girls reached the library and they soon found books that they wanted. One thing the two girls had in common was that they liked to read. The two of them borrowed their books and went to the cafe that was nearby.

“So, hermosa, I heard you got the highest in your class for your test,” Andrea said once they had both sat down at the table and were deciding what to get. Dani looked at her and asked, “how did you know?”

Andrea winked at her friend. “I know everything that happens.” 

Dani looked at the table and smiled. It was true. Andrea knew everything that happened in school. She did not even want to know how Andrea found out. She nodded.

“Hermosa, look up and say it! You achieved something! You should be proud of yourself!” Andrea said while reaching across the table and holding Dani’s hand with a soft smile on her face, causing Dani to look up and smile at her in return.

The waiter walked over to them and asked them what they wanted to eat, causing Andrea’s soft smile to be replaced by a smile that she gave everyone. Once they’ve ordered their food, Andrea told Dani, “This meal is on me. You deserve a treat!”

Dani groaned. Andrea was always spending money left and right. It wasn’t her business and she knew that she was well off but she didn’t like it when Andrea spent money on her. 

She opened her mouth to argue when Andrea gave her the grin. The grin was a grin that Andrea gave when she knew that she would get her way. Andrea, being in a debate team, could talk very well while Dani could not.

“You know I don’t like it when you spend money on me, right?” Dani asked Andrea as their drinks arrived. She shrugged. “It’s the least my father can do.”

Dani decided to drop the issue and instead replied, “one day, I’ll repay you,” to which Andrea smiled and did not reply. The two friends continued chatting before walking back together.

Translations:
Inútil. - Useless.