UNORTHODOX | KAI PARKER

X .CHANGE.

Chapter 10

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Kai Parker is a sociopath.

Kai Parker doesn't have emotions.

That has been a fundamental part of the man's person, the core of who he is, since he was eighteen years old. Since April 19th, 1990, the day after his birthday. The day he was diagnosed with a disorder that caused nothing but fear to everyone around him. Those four little words that shaped his entire personality, his entire existence. He wasn't Malachai anymore. No, not after that day. He was no longer the charismatic boy who could use his charm to get whatever he wanted— a small flaw in his personality, some would say. He wasn't the boy in class everyone knew but... but didn't know. He was no longer the six foot, brunette boy with the stark grey eyes who could get any girl he wanted. If he wanted them. No.

He was the boy with Anti-social Personality Disorder.

He was a disorder.

His disorder.

He remembers it like it was yesterday. Sat in the psychiatrist's office, his parents on either side of him. They didn't have to be there. He was eighteen, after all. An adult. But they chose to. They needed to hear for themselves what was wrong with their son.

He remembers the psychiatrist— a woman with long blonde hair, mid forties, maybe fifties — flicking through his chart with sympathetic eyes. Not sympathy towards him, of course not. But towards his parents.

He recalls as he slouched back in the chair, picking at the skin of his fingernails until he bled. Not because he wanted to hurt himself, no. But as he stared into the eyes of the psychiatrist as she listed off his symptoms, he wanted her to feel uncomfortable. Wanted her to feel like he was unpredictable. Dangerous. The silent words of 'Look at what I can do to myself with no reaction, what do you think I could to do you?'

And it worked, too. Her words more stuttered and clumsy as she spoke.

"Disregard for right or wrong. Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others. Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others. Using charm or wit to manipulate others. Criminal behaviour. Impulsiveness. Hostility, irritability, aggression and violence. Dangerous behaviours with no regard for the safety of self or others. Lack of empathy or remorse."

His mom cried. She blamed herself. She had had a history with mental health problems. Manic depression, they had called it. It followed her, haunted her, her entire life. And now she had passed her insanity onto her oldest son.

Kai had wanted to blame her. It was easier that way. To pass it off as stupid genes. He was just unlucky. But it wasn't that easy.

His dad didn't say a word for the whole hour. His eyes burning holes into his burden of a son. Joshua wanted to blame his mom too. But he knew it was untrue. He knew it wasn't his wife's unfortunate genes that ruined their son. Joshua knew what he had done to him. How he broke him. But he still blamed her. It couldn't be his fault.

Kai remembers the way his mom's face dropped when the psychiatrist informed them of the complication such a disorder could cause. What it could lead to.

"Abuse."
"Jail."
"Suicide."
"Homicide."

His mom didn't know which was worse. Losing her son, her oldest son to suicide. Or homicide. The thought of him being locked up, potentially forever, because he had murdered someone. The fact that he could be capable of such a heinous, vile act. All because of the way his brain is wired. Jokes on her, really.