UNORTHODOX | KAI PARKER

XIV .FEAR OF TOUCH.

Chapter 14

warning for mature content!!

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The sound of movement and stumbling from downstairs causes my eyes to snap open. I yawn, balling my hands into fists and rubbing my eyes, sitting up in disorientation. My eyes flit around the room as they slowly become more adjusted to the darkness. I stay silent, listening out for any other noises.

Nothing.

I sigh, flopping back down onto my, now-flattened, pillow and letting my eyes fall closed. As if on cue, as if the world knows I'm trying to sleep and has a vendetta against me, the sound of a drawer opening and slamming closed echoes up the stairs. Harsh. Aggressive. I bolt up, now suddenly very alert.

What the fuck is he doing down there?

I kick the duvet off me, the cold air causing my skin to erupt in goosebumps. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, the soft pads of my naked feet hitting the cold, wooden floor. I stumble over to the door, my sleepiness and the dark making me an extreme hazard. The door creaks open and I slip out into the dim hallway, the light from down below creeping up the stairs.

I tip toe down the stairs — avoiding the bannister at all cost, as always — when I hear it.

Smash.

The sharp sound of shattering reverberates off the walls, and I stop dead in my tracks. Stomach dropping and my breath choking as the feeling of worry and fear begins to sink in. I let out a shaky breath as I continue making my way down the stairs. My teeth finds the plump of my bottom lip as I creep down the hall.

"Kai?" The shakiness is evident in my voice. No response.

I stumble around the corner and the visual of Kai slumped on the couch, head in his hands, comes into view. Hands trembling. Knee bobbing up and down. It takes me aback. The sociopath looking so... so fucking vulnerable. The words of teenage Kai inscribed into the pages of a hidden diary rings in my ears. The parallel vulnerability echoing around the chamber of my cranium.

A vase, which has been obliterated into smithereens, lays on the floor in front of the far wall, a mark indenting the plasterboard. I gulp audibly before speaking up, running a hand over my visually tired face.

"Kai?" I croak out once again, slowly walking over to where he's situated on the couch. I try to somewhat keep my distance, not wanting to aggravate him anymore than he clearly already is. He flinches at the sound of my voice, immediately pulling his head from his hands and plastering on the visage of composure. It makes me frown. The instinctual hiding.

I take note of his tinted cheeks as he slumps back into the couch. "What do you want?"

His voice is hoarse. Exasperated. Exhausted. His eyes refuse to meet mine, glaring into the popcorn ceiling, and I stand awkwardly beside the couch. Arms wrapped around myself from the draft and fingers idly fiddling with the edge of the bandage wrapped around my forearm, which has loosened in my sleep. "Are— um. You good?"

The words are clumsy and uncoordinated, and it clearly offers no help to the siphoner. He scoffs, running a hand down his face and laughing. "I'm always good."

This time, it's my turn to scoff, my eyes flickering back to the ceramic shards littering the carpet. "Could've fooled me."

Another laugh. Flippant and demeaning.

"You think you have me all fucking figured out, don't you?" he barks out, still refusing to look at me. "It's fucking pathetic."

The words sting, and I can't help but flinch at them. But I've grown accustomed to the siphoner's antics. His reactions. His lashing out. And my feeling is immediately washed with complete fucking sadness. The useless feeling is excruciating. Being unable to help when something is clearly wrong is excruciating. If Elena was here she'd say it's a Gilbert Thing, and sometimes I'd agree. Brush of my emotions with the label of some inexorable family gene. But right now, I disagree. It's a human thing. Once you... you care about someone — or whatever the fuck I feel for the Parker — even the tiniest bit, it always feels like shit to know they're suffering and there's nothing you can do. It's human.