[ Niall Horan ] Hollywood Fiancé

Everythings Better in Paris

I turned my phone off airplane mode and missed phone calls and texts flashed across the screen.

"Can I just make a quick phone call?" I asked the lady who had checked me in to the retreat.

"Je suis désolé mon ami" she responded.

"I don't speak French" I apologized

She stuck her head over the corner and another women came out. "I'm sorry but no technology in the resort, please put your phone in this basket and we will return it to you after the two weeks is up." She extended a plastic basket my direction. I suddenly felt like I was putting my shoes into an airplane bucket for the scanning belt.

"So I can't make any phone calls in here?"

"You will get one phone call at the end of the week that you can make on the phone located in the main lobby. The point of this retreat is to shut out the outside world and just focus on you. We know it's hard especially with you being a celebrity. We have heavy security here and the press can't get in. So just try to relax and take this time to yourself" she took the basket back from me and called for the bell hop to get my bags.

We traveled down a long hallway till we got to my suite. It overlooked the main bridge in town. I could see couples on gondolas circling the city. It was a gorgeous view of the paris skyline.

"Can I order room service?" I asked the bar hop as he placed my bags in the closet.

"Food is in main lobby bella" he exited the room and left a highly detailed schedule on the desk across from my bed. "Tea time is in an hour in the main lobby" I read aloud.

I was starving, the bag of pretzels and juice they give you on the airlines does nothing for your hunger. I always took the private jet which was filled with all my favorite snacks and drinks but this time I had booked the closest flight as instructed by my shrink.

I paced the floor reading my scheduled activities. I kept trying to tell myself this would be good for me. I wasn't an addict but I had become dependent on other things to make me happy- alcohol, drugs, Niall. It was time for me to find who I was again. I didn't really have a choice anymore considering it might not be just me I had to think about anymore.

I knew things felt off for the last couple of weeks. I woke up and immediately felt dizzy or nauseous. I was having to pee in the middle of the night which never happened. The smell of certain foods randomly repulsed me and I could barely fit into my c cup bras anymore. So I took a leap and had Mickey go into a drugstore to get me a pregnancy test. I knew I couldn't just walk in and purchase one without the paparazzi following me or the greedy gas station clerk calling them. The first one I took said positive. But from all the movies I've watched sometimes it's a false positive.

I ran over to my bag and pulled out the second test. I unwrapped the plastic and sat on the cold toilet. Once I had sufficiently soaked the stick I sat it on the counter and began unpacking my suitcase. When the timer went off I heard the chiming sound and a knot in my throat appeared. If this one said positive too, then I really wasn't sure what I was going to do.