Honest

Make Sense

Most girls would be beside themselves. An emotional wreck who just can't seem to pull their act together.

Drinking wine to drown away their sorrows while their boyfriend lies upon the couch. But me?

What am I doing, you ask?

I'm lying in bed, yeah. Except, I'm writing an article for First Impressions. Aka, my now side job. I haven't had time to do as much editing for the group as I would like. Joel and I usually spent our time together and for me to be on my laptop constantly would cause for some disruption in the system. I caught up on some reading and was able to finish a book on my reading list. (Remember how I told you I could edit a article in twenty minutes? Write one in a single sit down? Well I'm a fast reader, so reading books is a fairly mindless activity for me.) I can still see the light seep through underneath the door which meant one of two things.

1) Joel was restless.
2) he fell asleep with the light on.

And considering the fact the tv isn't on and I don't hear much coming from downstairs, I'm assuming he's just as awake as I am.

And then I hear a creak in the stairs. Meaning Joel was coming upstairs. I click off the lamp to my side, shove the book in the drawer, and pull the covers over my shoulders, waiting for whatever was coming my way.

The door pushes open slightly, I can tell because the air shifts in the room. Joel whispers my name, but I don't even stir. He says my name again, louder this time, or maybe it's just because he's closer.

I feel his hand touch my shoulder lightly and he says my name again, but this time he says it as if he's not expecting any kind of answer. "I knew I shouldn't have done it. I knew I shouldn't have brought up marriage again. Especially when I know you're the one. I don't know why I'm trying to scare you off... You're too good for me anyway." He takes a deep breath. I can hear him scratch at the bristles on his jaw. His hand moves up and down my side. "Sleep tight, beautiful." He says before leaning down, pressing his lip to my cheek so gently.

And he's gone, just as fast as he came. The door shutting, just as it was before. I lick my lips and take a soft breath. My heart like mush. That's the sweet boy I'm in love with. So apologetic and vulnerable. But maybe it was apart of his game, I didn't know.

I did know I wasn't done with my fun just yet. I had a lot more up my sleeve.
In the morning, I'm only craving coffee, and don't dare hesitate let my appearance get in the way of that. I carry down the stairs and Joel is there like I had expected. In boxers and a muscle shirt. Standing at the kitchen counter, sipping at coffee and running his finger along the newspaper. "Morning." I say, sweetly although there's that sleepy undertone. The one I know drives him crazy.

Joel jolts, choking on his coffee and setting it down. "Good morning." His hair is rustled and he looks just as restless as I hopped he would.

"I think we should talk... About some stuff." My feet meeting and leaving with each step within moments.

Joel sets his hip into the counter and I land on the hardwood flooring, meeting him in the kitchen. "Oh yeah? What about?"

"Well, I was thinking... I'm just..." I take a deep breath and lick me lips. "I don't know what I want, anymore. Well, I didn't. Not until last night."

Joel shakes his head slightly and his hands rise, he cuffs his hair in his hands and his lips rub together harshly. "Taylor, no, don't do this."

"Joel, wait." I grab onto his bicep and pull his arm down. "Marriage." I purse my lips together and swallow harshly.

"I know, Taylor. I know, you don't want to get married, fine, I get it just please don't-

"I think you're right."