Schizophrenia is characterized by thoughts or experiences that seem out of touch with reality, disorganized speech or behavior, and decreased participation in daily activities. Difficulty with concentration and memory may also be present.
People may experience:
Behavioral: aggression, agitation, compulsive behavior, disorganized behavior, excitability, hostility, lack of restraint, repetitive movements, self-harm, or social isolation
Cognitive: amnesia, belief that an ordinary event has special and personal meaning, belief that thoughts aren't one's own, delusion, disorientation, false belief of superiority, memory loss, mental confusion, slowness in activity, or thought disorder
Mood: anger, anxiety, apathy, elevated mood, feeling detached from self, general discontent, inappropriate emotional response, or loss of interest or pleasure in activities
Psychological: depression, fear, hallucination, hearing voices, paranoia, persecutory delusion, or religious delusion
Speech: circumstantial speech, incoherent speech, rapid and frenzied speaking, or speech disorder
Also common: fatigue, impaired motor coordination, or lack of emotional response
a few months ago I watched a series that had a Schizophrenic character. After a while I decided to search up more about Schizophrenia.
What I'm trying to say is: I think I have Schizophrenia.
Schizophrenia is supposed to be medically diagnosed . I could lie and say that I have been medically diagnosed but I haven't.
The first hallucination I remember having was when I was four or three, There was this spinning chair next to the air conditioner and every night I'd wake up seeing this person there. Now anyone could say it must've been my parents or something but it wasn't my sisters cause I'd always see them asleep and my parents as well. I always thought it was normal but now that I've seen more and more I'm beginning to see that it isn't.
I'm beginning to hear more voices and see more shadows. I have some written down and let me tell you it's terrifying. Seeing someone in your house at night, staring at you, and not being able to tell anyone.
Well I ever go to the doctors? Right now, no. Later when I can drive around and shit I will but right now? No.
I love y'all you're like my family and i don't want to seem any different to anybody. I don't want to be seen as a psychopath or freak. Especially not by any of you because you guys are my family. I love y'all and I knew that you'd have to know this sooner or later.
I guess it's sooner.
I'm not crazy, I'm not a psychopath. This doesn't make me any different than what I am or was. Because In the end I'm still a human. Just a troubled one.
Till next time.
- Luke
