There are a lot of words but stuck on my mind.
I had nothing to do but to understand and let it just sink.
Sink in peace
Sink in silence
Sink in pain
Drowning
I got issues and chose to not tell
Might get into a deeper angst.
The angst inside me is burning and killing me alive.
It was all in my head and heart.
Look at you, boy i invented you!
I did that to you.
Only to you.
What was i supposed to do when i already did everything
I had nothing left but tears that rolled down my cheek
The selfishness he got is driving me insane
Becomes strict when it comes to freedom that i need.
If he got some bestfriends for himself then why can't i have mine too?
If he's willing to be mine then why lock me up?
If he has some guts to be that way, why cant i be that too?
If he is happy
Then why do i feel sad?
Why do i feel unhappy when im being unloved?
Is that how supposed to be felt when love is already gone?
I have so many things.
The things
These things
And those.
If he's slowly giving up then why make it too slow?
If he thinks that i am not making this work then he's blind.
Im drowning to his own pleasures and wants.
I dont want to drown just by myself,
I want to work this out helping each other.
But how can i do that when i am the only drowning for us.
This time i dont want to break up but just letting him feel that he's slowly losing me.
I lost my child and lost myself at the same time.
I lost my child the moment i lost myself for us too.
I am already a mother.
I am sorry my child.
You will always be in my heart!
Always my angel.
I cried the whole night
I drunk the whole night
I am sad the whole night
I was tired the whole year today
If i leave, would he feel me too?
If i leave tonight Nov.30,2019
will he be happy for his exe's debut?
I hope so.
Cause i only want his happiness.
I only want his smile
His laughter
His heart wholeheartedly
My eyes are bloodshot from crying my heart out.
Its too difficult when u cry silently pala no?
And its not nice to leave with a heavy heart.
I so wanted to leave and just wake up the next day like im fine.
Have the smile that always wore.
Laughter that i amaze to listen too.
I wanted to go home.
Nov.27,2019 was unforgettable day
I lost our child
And he wasn't sad.
I suffered
He's not.
I want to be there for my child
Say sorry that i am an evil mother.
I miss myself.
The things
