Three Years and One Lifetime

2

Hailey practically runs out of the grocery store, clutching onto Jaiyana, tears beginning to gather in her eyes. Running into Will Halstead had been the furthest thing from her mind today, which is strange because ever since she moved back to Chicago she'd been paranoid about running into someone she knows from P.D., Firehouse or Med. Today, she was caught off guard. Her mind had been distracted by an email from none other than Hank Voight. He'd somehow found out she'd left her desk job in the New York Police Department and started applying for detective positions in other districts of Chicago. Voight left an open invitation for her back to 21. Hailey had always contemplated coming back to the 21st. She misses her old unit, but had absolutely no intention of seeing Jay again. 

But now Will knew about her and her daughter, and he would no doubt be telling Jay that Hailey is back in Chicago, as well as confronting him about Jaiyana. She wonders what this would mean for them. It probably wouldn't mean anything, which is the part that stings the most. Jay obviously hadn't told anyone about their daughter, and that hurts in a way she hates herself for. His actions still have the power to hurt her three years later. 

She'd tried every humanly possible way to move on, but everything about her life felt like a constant struggle. The only light was ironically the thing that reminded her of Jay the most. Little Jaiyana, the love of her life. Thinking about the former holder of that title makes her heart clench. Still, she gave her daughter the first part of her first name as a small memorial of her former partner - or the partner she knew before that night, although she usually calls her Ana. 

Jay had been a mess after learning about the death of Marcus West. They both had a hard time keeping their personal feelings away from their work, but this case was particularly difficult for Jay due to his involvement in the arrest. She understood why he was having trouble coming to terms with it all, but it still didn't excuse the way he handled things. She ended up staying at his apartment for a few days after the case closed, not trusting her partner to keep himself sober. 

One night, she woke to a nightmare. An old friend of Marcus West had found out it was Jay who misidentified him, leading Marcus to his death. He kidnapped Jay, and by the time intelligence had found him, he had been shot dead. 

She was hyperventilating and drenched in sweat when he came into her room. Somehow, amidst all the tears and whispers and the need to change out of their sweat soaked clothes, they'd managed to make a baby that night. 

She tries her best not to remember the details, which is not too difficult considering everything was a haze. What she does remember vividly is the aftermath. 

Hailey woke up and panicked. She threw all her stuff in her bag and rushed out the door before Jay woke up. After that, they didn't speak for at least a month. Jay didn't show up to work because of mental health leave, plus the guy had a bunch of leave days anyways - he never took a day off. He wouldn't return any of her calls or texts, didn't even answer the door when she came to his house. She didn't know what she was expecting; she was the one who left that morning, but surely she didn't deserve this kind of cold treatment?

By the time she'd realised her period was late, it had been two and a half weeks since she'd last attempted to contact him. 

In desperation, she texted him 'Jay, I'm late.'

No reply. 

Despite what happened between them, she wanted her partner there while she took the test. They had been there for each other through thick and thin for the past 3 years. 

Three hours, two positive tests and no word from Jay later, she prepared to call Voight to ask where Jay was when she received the text that uprooted her entire life.

'The last thing I need in my life right now is a kid, Hailey. Take care of it yourself.'

The blood in her veins ran cold, her breath caught in her chest and hot tears filled her eyes. She collapsed on the floor. Hailey isn't sure how long she sat on the floor of her living room, staring down in shock. Looking back, it was probably a long time. 

It wasn't until the next day that she'd gathered herself enough to decide that she needed to speak with him face to face.

Unfortunately, that hadn't gone much better. 

A/N: Wow Jay sure has A LOT of explaining to do. Don't hate him too much though, we'll get his perspective in the next chapter...

Also, Hailey and Jay are both amazing characters and I hope the writers don't get them into a situation as messed up as this. Although maybe I wish them a little Jaiyana sometime in their future ;)