bad romance

24

Nakaabang si August sa tapat ng bar na tinutukoy ni Lucas. Nakasalampay ang braso ni Third sa kanya, at bakas sa mukha nito ang pagkayamot marahil sa bigat ng kaibigan.

"You're here," bati niya sa'kin, pagkababa ko ng sasakyan, pero nakatuon ang mata ko kay Third. He really looked wasted. Maga rin ang mata kahit nakapikit.

I looked at August and caught him watching me knowingly, pero hindi ko na lang pinansin. "Sorry. Kanina ka pa?"

"Not really," iling niya. Tinulungan ko siyang ipasok si Third sa shotgun seat. Nang maiupo na namin siya nang maayos, hinaltak ko ang seatbelt at sinuot sa lasing.

"Neia," he murmured, his intoxicated breath blowing on my cheek.

"Hmm?" I turned my head slightly to meet his bleary, red-rimmed eyes. "Bakit?"

"Neia," bulong niya ulit, pero nakapikit na. Tulog siguro. Bumuntong-hininga na lang ako at umatras, tsaka isinara ang pinto.

"Thanks. Ako na bahala sa kanya," ngiti ko kay August, na seryoso lang ang mukhang tumango sa'kin. Tatalikod na sana siya paalis pero pumigil ako agad. "Uhh. Do you know why he got that drunk?"

August lifted an eyebrow at me. "Why don't you ask him?"

My eyebrows knotted. Sabi ko nga eh. Ang sungit talaga netong ni August kahit kailan. Tinanguan ko na lang siya at maliit na nagpaalam, bago pumihit pabalik sa loob ng driver's seat. Hindi na rin kami nilingon ni August at dumiretso na siya pabalik sa loob ng bar.

Nagmulat ulit nang maliit ang mata ni Third. Nakabantay sa'kin nang i-recline ko ang inuupuan niya para hindi siya mahirapan.

"You're... here," he mumbled. Matagal na naman nakatitig ang mata niya.

These past few weeks was so... different, I guess. It felt like rebuilding our relationship and getting to know each other all over again. And by relationship, I mean our friendship.

The thing about breaking up and meeting years later was how the time changed the both of you. No matter how much you know someone to the depths of their soul, the time you're away can still change them.

I wanted to hate him and continue to be indifferent. Pero kapag pinipilit kong gawin 'yon, pareho lang naman kaming nahihirapan.

Ireneia Salvador could never be indifferent to Third Arcanghel.

"I am," sagot ko, nang magtagal na magkahinang lang ang mata namin. "Why are you drunk?"

"Neia," he whispered again. Lasing nga siguro. "Neia, you're really here."

"Oo nga. Nandito nga."

"Ang tagal kitang hinanap," he gritted his teeth and clenched his jaw. "Ang tagal kitang hinintay. Neia, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

Kinuha niya ang isang kamay ko at dinala sa labi niya. He pressed it against his cheeks. "I have no excuses. Sorry, Neia. Wag mo na kong iwan ulit, please?"

I swallowed. "Hey. Is this why you're drunk?"

"Losing you is a nightmare," he was shaking. I think I was too. "And I keep on losing you, so I keep living in a nightmare. And... and I don't know how I'm supposed to keep you when you're not even mine to keep. Not anymore. Because I lost my chance to do that."

His face crumpled with pain. "But can I keep you anyway?"

Nagtagal na tahimik lang kami. Nakadikit lang ang likod ng kamay ko sa pisngi niya. Mabagal ang paghinga naming dalawa. Namumuo ang luha sa mata ko pero wala namang tumutulo.

I wonder if he always does this when he's drunk. Who does he cry to? Who does he plead to?

"You don't have to answer," malamlam ang mata niya nang magpatuloy. "I know I already lost the chance, so I want to earn it back. I just have one last thing to ask."

"What?"

"Wag ka munang pupunta sa iba. Wag ka munang lalapit sa iba," he brought my hand to his lips again and tugged me closer. "Hintayin mo ko, Ireneia. Wait until I'm worthy of you again."

Lumunok ako nang maghinang ang mga mata namin. His was red-rimmed and tear-stricken, a far cry from his magazine portraits and commercials. But no less attractive.

Damn.

Sabi ko na. Wala talaga akong resistance pagdating sa kanya.

Maliit at halos namamaos ang boses ko nang sumagot. "Okay."

"Okay?" udyok niya. Naniniguro. Ngumiti ako at pinisil ang kamay niyang nakakapit sa'kin. "Okay."

"Okay," he exhaled, like it's such a huge relief. "Okay. You uh... need to step away now. You just gave me a chance. I don't want to blow it just because you look so beautiful and I might end up kissing you."

I realized I was still pressed right next to him. Umatras ako hanggang may espasyo na sa pagitan namin. Nabawi ko na rin ang kamay ko, pero hindi bumababa ang init sa mukha ko.

"You're really drunk, aren't you?" tanong ko sa kanya. He tilted his head up and covered his eyes with his arm.

"Oo. Siguro. I always see you in my drunken dreams. Siguro isa 'to doon."

"I'm real, though."

"That's what you always say. I always beg for you, but you're always indifferent in my dreams. Pero hindi ngayon so even if this is a dream... it's going to be a good dream."

So he did always dream of this?

I sighed and turned on the engine.

"It's one of my greatest fears," he said lowly. "Na babalik ka, pero di na sa'kin. Indifferent and apathetic."

The way I've been when I first saw him.

He sighed again. Tinanggal ang nakatakip na braso sa mata niya. "But if it's you in a dream, it's a good dream. It always is."

He keeps on repeating things when he's drunk, huh.

"I'm not a dream, Third Grayson. I'm real."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Really... Hmm..."

Tumingin ako sa kanya. Nakapikit na habang nakabaling sa direksyon ko. I slowly brushed his hair and smiled. "Sweet dreams."

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sofia: mas lasing ata ako kay third nung sinulat ko 'to lakandkslafha