Sightless

Max Genovese

~ Today ~

"Are you sure this is what we want to do?" Andrea hissed from behind me. I was sitting in the passenger seat next to Dale, who insisted that I was the best seat mate because I never told him that he was driving wrong, which was true, since I couldn't exactly see the road. 

Andrea was nervous, nervous about joining this group of people that we hadn't even really met all of, and that she didn't get to meet at all since she was on the roof when they came to see us. But this was... necessary I think. 

"I think we should Andrea. We already told them we would, first off. And second, they seemed nice. Shane was a sheriff's deputy, so surely he can't be too bad. And I didn't really get to talk to Theodore or Juan but I'm sure they are nice guys too. And they said they had more kids, women... I don't think that anything bad could happen. I mean why would it? We all need to stick together now, especially if it is as bad as you all say it is." I said quietly, trying not to disturb Amy or Max who Andrea said had fallen asleep a little bit ago. 

It was taking us longer than we thought to get to this quarry. There were a lot of people stranded here, and most were taking off towards the burning Atlanta on foot, leaving their cars behind to create horrible mazes. 

"Do you have a better idea Andrea? I'd love to hear it?" Dale asked, not in a mean or condescending way, he was actually asking, but I knew she wouldn't like it either way. 

"Whatever." She scoffed, and I could hear her boots click as she walked back over to the sofas in the middle of the RV. I let a sigh out and turned to look at where I thought Dale would be. I know that I can't see them, but I feel like it probably makes them more comfortable than me just looking off into space, and it was kind of habit. Even now, twenty years after losing my sight. 

"You shouldn't have said that like that. I know you were being serious, but to her it probably sounded condescending. You do that sometimes you know." I said softly, reaching out blindly for his hand so he would know I wasn't trying to be mean, and after a moment he grabbed it himself and I relaxed. 

"I know, I forget sometimes. I'm used to being around people who know me, you, Max... or no-one at all. It's hard to remember that some people just don't know me that well." I nodded, but didn't say anything for a long time as I held the man, who should have been, my father's hand. 

"Do you think we're getting close?" I knew from what he had told me earlier, that we were following a train of cars, who were all supposedly members of this new group of ours, up to the quarry, but it had been awhile since I got an update, and we had stopped a lot since then. We could have new members, and some could have pulled off. 

"Maybe. Shane is still up in the front. There's a yellow Jeep Cherokee behind them, and a bit ago a Blue Ford F-250 joined up behind them. Then there's a Jeep Wrangler, and a... church van? And a Suzuki Samurai than us. I see more cars behind us but I don't know if they're with us or not. Might be. We're the only group of cars I've seen leaving this traffic snarl. But we're on dirt roads now, so hopefully we'll be there soon." He said calmly, steadily driving while describing what was happening to us. 

I used to love that he did that. Explained things to me. I didn't always know what things looked like, but it still made me feel better. Like he understood why I wanted to know everything. Like he knew what it was like to live in complete darkness. 

It was misery, and sometimes I think that if I hadn't of had Max... even though I had to go through hell to get him... I think that if I wasn't gifted with such a wonderful boy, I probably would have killed myself the day I turned eighteen. 

I would have done it in an alley somewhere. Where no-one would look for me, where no one could see and stop me. I would have called Dale and Irma, and left them a message telling them goodbye of course. And that I loved them. But it wouldn't have been enough for me I don't think. 

This life of darkness, loneliness... pain. 

If I didn't have my light, my star, my eyes. I wouldn't have made it. 

Max turned everything around for me. He made life worth living again. I have never seen his face, and I know I never will, but I know he is the most beautiful thing in the world. He has to be. His soul is too pure to be trapped in the body of a monstrous creature like what I picture his father to be. 

I have read things that questions whether a person is created by their genes, their environment, their parents, their choices, or a mixture of all of them. I used to believe that it was mostly genes. I was gifted with a miserable life, just like my mother, and just like my mother I have been unable to rise above it. But my son... he is nothing like his father. 

He is kind, smart, generous, loving, every kind adjective you can think of. He would never hurt a hair on anyone's head, unless they did something to hurt someone he loves. I've 'watched' him become a warrior for me. Fighting against the cruel words of strangers who mock the scars on my face, and he doesn't have to. I've told him not to in fact, but it doesn't matter to him because he can see the pain on my face when I hear about the scars that I have never been able to see. Never been able to judge for myself how gruesome or disgusting they are. I can't fight back, because I have no idea what they're talking about. 

But he does. He calls me beautiful, different, strong. And when he says it, I believe him. 

And that, I think, is the greatest gift in the world. 

A/N: Hello lovelies! So now that I have you all good and settled into the story I just wanted to explain some things that are going to be different than any of my other stories, and some of you might have already figured some of this stuff out, but I want to say it anyway!

1. The chapters, they don't have names! Gosh I know, I normally number my chapters and it's a lot different for me too, but this book is going to be big on character development. Mostly, Megaera, Max, and Daryl, but it's going to be a lot more about Meg developing as a person to become more aware of others, and less concerned with herself, and her problems. A lot of people have this particular character flaw, including myself, so this is as much a therapy for me as it is me trying to give you a great book! But my point is, the characters are going to be named after the person that she focuses on each chapter. Or, the person that she didn't focus on (because she was too worried about herself) but she should have. And I hope that this way you can visibly see her develop into a more... outwardly observant person.

2. Obviously she's blind. I normally write a lot of my character interactions in facial expressions, body movements, body language basically. But she doesn't get to see that. Everything that she gets from interacting with a person is strictly vocal. What do they say, how do they say it, and what kind of emotions can she pick up just from that? So I'm sorry that it might take some time for me to get how to write that aspect of communication down well, but hopefully by the end I'll have it down and I can come back to fix whatever I screwed up. 

3. It's going to be really dark. I wasn't kidding in the warning I posted at the beginning of this book. This one is going to be a lot darker than my other books. I don't want you all just to not read it because you are afraid of struggle and dark thoughts/feelings/emotions/actions/etc. But seriously, if you have triggers associated with abuse, rape, self-mutilation, etc. DO NOT read the chapters that start with anything other than ~Today~. The chapters like this one, set during the actually Walking Dead time line, aren't going to have much of that stuff in it. But the chapters that look back at her past will. They may not be very detailed, because I don't feel like I could accurately write some of this as I haven't experienced all of it, but it will be explicitly stated what happens to her. So, just know your triggers, and know your limits.

So... that's all I have for right now! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I promise that Daryl will be in the book soon! Keep an eye out for the chapter titled Daryl Dixon, I'm sure that will give it away 😂