To Take Away Your Pain ✓

8. Not everyone gets to feel loved.

“Kise poochun, hai aisa kyu
Bezubaan sa, ye jahaan hai
Khushi ke pal kahaan dhundun
Benishaan sa, waqt bhi yahaan hai” -Duaa

(Whom do I ask, why is it so?
This world has gone mute
Where do I find moments of joy?
Even time holds no mark of it)

_________________________________________

“Shut Up”, I could see she was trying her best to not yell to loud.
“What do you even know, ha?”

She continued, “Just because you had a talent, you could earn from a very young age. Though it was little, mom and dad at least looked at you! I was always left out. As if I was worthless. Why? Because they had a financial problem?”, she scoffed, “Even though they brought it on themselves?”
“I just didn’t want my life to be like that anymore. I didn’t want my children to suffer the way we did. Having parents but never spending time with them, because they have to work. Their mood depends on work. Whether they even smile at us or give us no food depends on work. That damn work ruled our fate. It still does, doesn’t it? They still have loans to pay off. I'm sure you don’t use your whole salary for yourself.

That’s why I never contacted them or anyone. It’s not like I miss them anyway. I even forget that we have a brother. We rarely even saw him. Now, he’s somewhere… working.
But when I met Chase, he made me feel needed, wanted. I felt alive. He is well educated and smart. I was sure he would get a good job. He cared for me. He gave me anything I asked for. Everything was perfect, until it was all shattered. In just a day. What was I to do?...
I got scared. Terrified. Of facing the same fate. Or even a worse one. With him being handicapped! So, I ran away. I never wanted to leave him but I had to.”

“You’re crazy... Do you really think it was because we didn’t have enough money that we felt lonely? Are you that foolish? Or do you just don’t want to accept? That our parents just can’t qualify as parents.
They never cared for us. They only cared for themselves. Even if we were to ever win a lottery and become rich, they would use us, to flaunt. They would dress us up like toys. That’s all we are to them. Things. That is either useful or useless. Just like how you classified Chase as useful and dated him and when you thought he became useless, you left him”, I mirthless laugh left my mouth, “We haven’t bonded because they put brother in a damn boarding school and never let us spend time together. You couldn’t stop thinking about what we don’t have, to look at what we had. So, even though you had a sister, you lost her. And because of your shitty attitude, I gave up too. I admit, it is also my fault that I never tried to understand you but THIS has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with Attitude.”

I breathed as she contemplated but I wasn’t done yet. If we are going to talk, let me say everything I need to, “We didn’t have a need for money, Tina. We had enough to feed ourselves, have a roof above our heads and get minimal education, as long as our parents worked… like a normal family. But they wanted a bigger house, better food, vacations and their greed just had no limit. It was their greed which wasn’t satisfied.

Don’t let him go, just because you are greedy too. He loves you. Not everyone gets to feel loved. And I know you know that very well.”

She looked guilty. I was grateful. Now she’ll go back and everything will be okay.

“Your right. I'm so stupid. I love him. What did I do?”

“Then go to him. He wants to see you. Now it’s only you, who can take away his pain.”

“No”, she shook her head, “He’ll hate me.”

“He won’t. He doesn’t know you left. He thinks you had got a job and couldn’t get a leave. I have been taking to him this whole time, in your voice. You just have to go back. He loves you a lot. He needs you.”

“I can’t. This isn’t right. He needs to know”, she muttered.

“Are you crazy? Now you want to think about right and wrong?”, I scoffed, “Can’t you understand how much it’ll hurt him to know the truth? You just want to get over your guilt, don’t you? Want to be the angel and do what’s right. You ran away once. Take responsibility, dear sister”, sarcasm dripped in my tone as I called her sister, “and don’t run away this time. Be with him. Make him happy.”

She looked unsure but then, she looked straight into my eyes and replied, “Fine.”

I smiled.