The Truth Of The Matter (complete)

Chapter 4

"Don't worry mladenets just let instinct guide you, I'll be right here to help you along the way if you need me too." (babe)

She nodded and looked over the selection of feeders. She chose a human girl about twenty years of age. Slowly she pulled the girls hair away from her neck. Then she turned and looked to me for reassurance which I gave her with a smile and a nod of my head. She took a deep breath leaned in and carefully pierced the girls neck with her fangs.

I watched on as she fed for the first time. I didn't want her overdoing it and accidently draining this poor girl dry after all. I knew that if she did that her conscience would torture her for all eternity.

When she pulled back, I praised her.

"That was so good mladenets, you did so well for your first time. Not everyone is able to do it so well and cleanly on the first try. Look you didn't even spill a drop. It took me days to be able to do that." I told her as I ran my fingers up and down the side of her neck adoringly. (babe)

"It is strange after watching the moroi do this for as long as I can remember, and having to let Lissa feed from me. But being on this side of things is different."

"Yes, I would imagine so. Let me feed and then we will go to breakfast." She nodded and I fed.

I was used to what I had to do to survive already, so it wasn't a big deal to me anymore. Not like it had been in the very beginning.

I don't even want to imagine where I would be if I hadn't learned to feed without killing my prey. I was so thankful that Lucas had found me, shortly after I got back to Russia, and taught me how to feed without killing my prey. As well as how to compel them so that they would not only not remember but also, so that I wouldn't cause them any unneeded pain, panic or fear.

Soon Roza and I were seated at our dining room table ready for our cooked breakfast to be served. I was only able to eat about half of what I used to, so I figured that my Roza would probably be pretty much the same way. But that was something that we needed to find out for sure before we went out to eat somewhere. I didn't, after all, want her eating so much that she would make herself sick.

If that was even possible anymore. I didn't know if it was or not. Even after having been a strigoi for a few months I still didn't know everything about being a strigoi. I still had a lot to learn myself, so my Roza and I would learn it all together. And I would teach her what I already knew.

As we ate breakfast lyubov' moya and I talked more. (my love)

"So, the feeders, are they hoping that you will awaken them? Is that why they are doing this?"

"No." I answered, although I did understand the reason behind why she'd asked it. Especially after being at Galina's.

I shook my head at her sadly. "They, just like the moroi feeders, do it for the endorphins. They like the high that it gives them. Some of them searched out the strigoi after they were ejected, as too used feeders, from the moroi."

"I remember that high." She sighed sadly.

I knew that she did. I also knew that it always made her feel weak, ashamed and disgusted with herself, that she'd had to let Lissa feed from her. And that because of the endorphins she had liked it on some level.

But I was sooo bloody proud of her for not letting herself become addicted to the endorphins from Lissa's bite. I knew a lot of people, from Baia, who were addicted to the endorphins of a moroi bite. I also knew that Eddie Castile had had a huge problem with dealing with the withdrawals after Spokane. The poor kid.