Not My World (Klance Omegaverse)

Chapter 1

*Slight trigger warning near the end*
Blood and self ham.
~~~~~~

   As some may already know, I'm an orphan. I'm an orphan who also happens to live alone. I'm also an omega who lives alone, has to suffer through heats, and weird, horny alphas.

   Why is it that even after how much I hate myself, they still want my body? That I'll never know. (Real life question too)

   I started walking home from work, that being Starbucks, this being my normal routine. Of course there is that every now and then case where I have to tell off some weird person, but I really don't want to think about that now.

The familiar silhouette of my apartment building comes into view and I breath a sigh of relief. This mainly being that I need to buy more supressants soon.

Ah, the loveliness of having to hide yourself.

I walk inside the building, unlocking my door, only to lock it again behind me. I walk in, throwing my keys aside, only to go straight to my bedroom and fall face first onto my bed. I grab the hippo plushie, that happened to be one of the only things I have from my past, and hold it close.

There's that and the knife I always have on me.

There I laid for the next few minutes, that being until my phone went off.

1 unread message.

Takashit: Kosmo misses you. You should come by and get him. Adam misses you too. How was the walk home? Did you make it back safe?

This would be Shiro. I work with him, when he actually can show up that being. He works two jobs. Overall, he pretty much is my over protective dad. Kosmo is my dog, but he has been over at their house because of school and work. Then there is Adam. If Shiro is the dad, then that would make Adam the mother. They are mates, as well as married.

Keith: Maybe I will some time over the weekend. Right now, I have homework.

This was not a complete lie. It's just that I had my homework finished a long time ago. That's what happens when you have too much spare time.

Takashit: Okay. You never answered my questions though. Did you make it home safe??

Classic.

Keith: Yes, now go make love to you husband or whatever. Just leave me alone.

Takashit: I would have you know, we have already done that twice this week and he is still sore, so no.

Keith: Ew, no. TMI.

I instantly threw my phone to the side at that. I really do not want to know about someone else sex life, especially when I don't even have one, nor do I want one.

Just, ew.

I've always hated the concept of... that. I don't get why people go out of there way for it. (Me being an asexual)

Tired of just sitting in place in my own misery, I get up and go to take a shower. I grab my normal clothes, that being a pair of black shorts and a huge band shirt that was once my dad's. I really haven't grown at all.

Somehow, after all this time, I still have it. His scent had faded from it a long time ago though. It was the one I was wearing when all of it happened, so it's too be expected.

When I have entered the bathroom, and the door is closed, I start to strip down piece by piece. This exposes every little scar on my body. The body I can't stand to live in. They start from the small ones on my face, never visible unless you know they're there, to the one on my neck, to the large on on my shoulder, and onward. The ones I hate the most are the ones on my wrist. The ones caused by me. Self inflicted.

Each one holds its own little story behind it, some not so little. Ones on my face being from fights and beating I've had to take. My neck being the times I was strangled and... other things. My shoulder being from a previous memory I would rather not think about. My wrist. Well, you'll see what I mean.

I look away from the image in the mirror in front of me, escaping my own thoughts. I've always hated the way I look, not just because of the scars. My feminine body structure, my short legs, my rounded stomach, honestly everything.

A sigh exits my mouth as I walk over to the shower, pulling back the red and black curten (?). The water is turned up to the hottest setting, making fresh steam emit from the shower. I've always liked it this way. The burning sensation of the water is relaxing in it own way.

I step into the shower, feeling the warm water trample all over my body. Slow and steady streams flood down my face. Each steady drop washing away the makeup, the fake smile, the cover up.

True, sour emotion. Bitter.

As I go through, washing my hair and body, the soap aroma filling the bathroom, I reach behind one of the bottles to find my hidden blade.

Twisting the blade between my fingers for a second, wondering to myself. I put it under the water to make sure it's clean. I instantly press the blade the my forearm without hestitation, sliding it against the skin, watching as the skin splits open, allowing the dark red color to rise. A hiss escapes my mouth as the blood leaves my arm, washing away slowly by the water.

A feeling of relief washes over me as the red liquid fades into an almost pink hue. The feeling of not being numb for once. Emotionless. Dull. Empty. Non- existent. Just enough pain. Just enough to keep me here. To keep me sane in this wretched world we live in. We're stuck in.

Maybe one day this can also be my escape from it.

I sit on the cold, wet floor of the shower for a second, wondering how so many thing could go wrong to get me to this point in life. I feel a melancholic smile form on my face, as a cold laugh leaves my mouth. I bury my head in my knees, now watching as tears gently slide down my bare legs.

After sitting there in thought for a minute or so, I get up, turning off the water and step out into the cold air. The first thing I do is wrap my arms up, knowing that they are going to cause the most trouble. I do my normal thing of getting dressed, talking shit about my body, and get ready to lay down.

Walking out of the bathroom, I go and lay down on my bed, looking at my arms, seeing how my left wrist is wrapped more then my right, my right being my dominate one. I sigh before pulling out my phone and look at instagram, see all the post about people being so happy and cheery together.

What a way to make someone feel like shit.