endless path, infinite cosmos

chapter 148

Eina began forming her own interpretation of the events that had transpired around Vahn, and she wasn't that far from the truth. Recalling all the things he had explained, she realized there was something that he had left out which contradicted almost everything else he had done. She could feel her heart rate increase a bit as she asked, "Why did you decide to pursue me, Vahn? All of your other relationships with women seemed to have happened due to circumstance, but you've acted strangely toward me since the beginning. On the first day we met, you even confessed to me in front of the entire Guild."

Eina's words actually surprised Vahn, as he himself didn't understand how to begin his explanation. He couldn't tell her she was one of the characters he liked from the manga, and it seemed very awkward to say he liked to tease her unless he had a reason to do so. Vahn thought for a moment, and Eina waited patiently at the side without disturbing him. After hearing her point it out, Vahn realized that she was actually the only woman he had 'proactively' approached based on his own decision. He thought she was very beautiful, and the moment they had met he instantly wanted to tease her because it made him feel happy.

Vahn couldn't think of anything else, so he released a sigh while saying with a bit of apprehension, "When I first saw you at the Guild, I thought you were very cute, even beautiful with your emerald green eyes. I don't understand the reason myself, but whenever I see your poised and professional demeanor, I want to make you smile or flustered. It...makes me feel happy."

Eina's brows raised at his explanation, and she began to realize that she may be the first woman he proactively approached. He clearly didn't have a grasp on his own emotions, and even when he mentioned his relationships with Tiona and Ais, it was almost like he was being dragged along for the ride. Remembering how he explained his interactions with Chloe, Hephaestus, and Tsubaki, Eina realized they were trying to help him build relationships.

Unfortunately, though they empathized with him and wanted to help, they failed to account for the fact that Vahn was broken, and not simply traumatized. They did well to keep him from being taken advantage of, but after he finally experienced a relationship with a woman, they didn't reign him in and explain things. Now, almost immediately after his first sexual interaction, he was suddenly surrounded by women and girls that had expectations for him. Since he was so eager to please, he always gave in to their needs and worked hard to make them happy.

Eina was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to take Vahn away from this City and raise him like a normal boy. She understood that everyone around him wanted the best for Vahn, but they had overlooked his character and allowed him to bear their burdens. If it was just one or two people, it might have been okay, but Vahn had mentioned more than ten! He was even learning to forge so he could impress Hephaestus while simultaneously supporting another Familia, and this was all while he was supposed to be recovering from serious injuries.

Vahn noticed that Eina was lost in her own thoughts and had a very serious expression on her face. He could even see that her aura was slightly chaotic, and he felt like he had done something to upset her. As they were very close to each other, Vahn reached out his hand and placed it on her head while channeling his [Hands of Nirvana]. Since she had styled her hair a bit, he didn't think it would be appropriate to stroke her hair and mess it up.

Feeling a warm energy enter her head, Eina looked toward Vahn who was showing her a gentle smile with a bit of concern in his eyes. She suddenly felt like her heart was wrenching in her chest and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Eina, in that instant, felt a powerful regret emerge from her heart as she recalled everything he had said earlier.

She felt like, when he had confessed to her at the Guild, it was almost like a cry for help and she had failed to hear it. Back then, he hadn't built any of the relationships he had mentioned, and every relationship he had after his confession to her was at the initiation of the opposite party. Eina felt like, if she had accepted his feelings at the time and cared for him, he would be on the road to recovery, and not bearing the burdens of so many people. She could have taken him and bought a small house and lived together while trying to help him live a normal life.