endless path, infinite cosmos

chapter 180

Vahn was beginning to understand what Loki was trying to tell him; he also understood why she had essentially accused him of hating her very existence. If what she was saying is true, which Vahn felt it very well might be, it meant she had little to no control over her own personality. Since she had lived for millions of years, even if she wanted to 'resist' against her Divinity, her nature would have been irreversibly altered. Since her divinity was related to trickery and schemes, Loki couldn't help but act accordingly...even if she wanted to act differently. The moment she started trying to change her character, she would grow weaker until the point where she ceased to exist entirely.

Loki could see that Vahn somewhat understood what she was trying to convey, so she continued, "It is the same for every god. Gods of production are constantly creating the items related to their divinity, while gods of the people are always trying to serve and better others. The worst, and perhaps most unfortunate of all, are gods that draw their power from concepts like Love, Beauty, and Service. There are innumerable gods and goddesses that end up slaves inside brothels or prostitution rings just because they can't resist their own compulsions. In the worst case scenario, there are even those that cannot refuse someone that wants to sleep with them at all, even if the person is a disgusting person or a deviant."

Vahn could feel his mind begin to buzz from her explanation as he considered the implications of her words. It would explain why gods like Soma were in charge of such disreputable Familia since he prioritized creating his alcohol over everything else. It even made Vahn somehow empathetic towards people like Freya, even though he still disliked everything she had done within the manga.

Loki still had a sad expression on her face as she continued, "Though gods may possess a lot of power and authority, especially in Heaven, we choose to descend to the mortal world instead of making use of our abilities...do you know why that is, Vahn?" Vahn frowned and shook his head, so she explained, "It is because our Divinity is marginally weaker when we come to the mortal world. Things get so monotonous in Heaven, and we're unable to act outside of the influence of our own Divinity. We descend to the mortal world to experience variety and change while trying to enjoy a somewhat free life. However, no matter how hard we try, as long as we possess Divinity within our souls, we cannot escape our fate..."

The more Loki explained things, the worse Vahn felt about the entire situation. Though he would need to confirm it with Hephaestus, he instinctually understood that Loki was telling him the truth. There is no way Hephaestus would have continued forging countless items when they had caused her so much pain in the past. The only reason for her to do so was that she was unable to avoid forging for long periods of time. She constantly had to push herself to try and exceed her limits and understanding, because that was the only way to satiate the compulsion that emanated from her very soul.

Looking into the sad expression on Loki's face, Vahn suddenly felt...pity. Though she was one of the most powerful and influential goddesses in the mortal world, she still had to live the life of a schemer and trickster just to satiate her own Divinity. No matter how much she cared about her Familia and tried to live a free and unfettered life, she would continue to exploit and try to use people for her own convenience. It was truly a pitiful existence...

Loki had seen the way he was looking at her and she gave him a mischevious smile as she shook her head, "Don't feel pity for me, Vahn. Even if I'm restricted by my own Divinity, I've lived a much better life than most gods and goddesses. Fortunately for me, my Divinity almost guarantees that I can be successful in both Heaven and the mortal world. If you want to pity someone, you should visit one of the gods or goddesses that are bound to serve people. I believe that Dog Goddess of your's has that trait."

As she mentioned Anubis, Vahn couldn't help but recall his interactions with the beautiful chienthrope goddess. Even before she came to Orario, she spent the entire 300 years of her time in the mortal world helping the children of the Southern Tribe. Vahn had learned that she ran both an Orphanage Familia as well as a Funerary since her Divinity was related to Death and taking care of others. She even willingly became his 'servant' just because she had 'almost' brought harm to him due to a misunderstanding. From then on, everything that she did seemed to be to try and please him, even to the point where she began making advances on him after the incident in the bath...