endless path, infinite cosmos

chapter 199

When Vahn awoke early the next morning he could feel a pressure on his chest and, after moving the covers a bit, he could see that Lili had changed her position in the night and was now hugging his body like a koala. Vahn noticed that she was incredibly light so it wouldn't have been that uncomfortable if not for the wet stain on part of his tunic where her drool had soaked into the fabric.

Turning his head to the right, Vahn noticed that Naaza didn't seem to have moved a single millimeter while she was asleep and continued to rest on his shoulder while holding his sleeve with her hand. Since his right arm was pinned by her body, and he didn't want to wake her, Vahn used his left hand to pull out the orb. Before he immersed himself into it, he looked at the tiny white ears on Lili's head for a few seconds before blowing into them with a puff of air. The small tiger-ears twitched and Lili turned her head to the other side and found a new spot to drool on.

Vahn smiled at her reaction and then inserted his consciousness into the orb to meet Eva and calm his mind. Contrary to his expectations, Eva didn't drop onto him like all of the recent times he had visited. Instead, she was sitting off to the side in a white sundress with her hair somehow tied into a long braid that reached down to her butt. When they made eye contact, Eva asked, "With how you look, it doesn't seem like things went that well?"

Releasing a sigh, Vahn sat up from the bed and rested against the headboard as Eva snuggled up next to him and waited for his explanation. Vahn recounted all of the events of the prior day from start to finish since it had been more than four years since Eva heard everything. She listened in silence all the way until the end while resting her head against his shoulder.

When his story was finished, Eva asked in a quiet tone, "What do you want to do now? Will you continue to forge, or do you want to start training to become stronger?" When she got to this point, Eva repositioned herself before transforming into her adult form and hugging Vahn's head into her ample breasts. She whispered in a comforting tone, "Or do you want me to pamper you for a bit...?"

Vahn allowed her to hug his head as he his body with his arms around her waist. The moment he embraced her, Eva began to stroke his hair gently and didn't say another word while comforting Vahn. After a while, Vahn asked in a slight daze, "I'm not sure what to do, Eva...I want to be stronger so things like this never happen again. But, I also want to keep the promises I've made as soon as possible."

Releasing a sigh into her breasts, Vahn continued, "I want to be a hero...I want to be the light that helps people find their way out of the darkness...but I don't know what that really means. People tell me to just continue being myself, but everything I'm doing feels like it is only delaying the inevitable. The harder I try, the happier people become...but I feel like it just creates a gap in my own mentality that invites terrible things to happen. I want to be happy, but if my actions lead other people to suffer..."

At this point, Vahn began to cry warm tears that trickled down Eva's cleavage as he hugged her waist tighter. She rested her cheek on his head as she continued to stroke his back and hair while Vahn continued trying to organize his thoughts. After a few seconds of silence, Vahn continued, "I don't want to be bad...I don't want to be evil...but I feel like the only way to protect the things I care about is to seek out and destroy the people that might harm them. The only way I can protect them is if everyone is too afraid to take action...but, I also don't want the people I care about to see me in that way...I don't want people to be afraid of me."

Eva continued stroking Vahn's back as he turned silent for a long period of time. After a while, she spoke in a soft and gentle tone, "This is why most heroic tales end in tragedy...because there is too much darkness in the world for one person to resist. The harder you try, the more reliance people will place on you as they seek the warmth and security you provide. Since there is darkness in everyone, you'll bear their burdens and become susceptible to the plots and schemes of others..."