I've never been more down than I am right now.
Rivers constantly flow behind my eyes and hot tears breech my weathered pride. It's as if I've killed the king ruling my heart. The thoughts won't stop filtering in. Getting help, I don't know where to begin. The islands of my life are falling and crumbling down at a rate faster than I can handle. My rocks are hours away in different cities and my happiness has gone on vacation. I pray to God and plead for help but my faith wilts like my ever-changing esteem and I still fear the worst. I know I will turn out okay in the end, but the black thunder clouds are dominating my mind. Is life but a dream within a dream? I'm being swallowed whole and I don't see anywhere else to go. I've lost hope in my future. I've become ashamed of myself in a deeper way than before. And I feel myself spiraling more than I used to. I wish for a coffin to lay in until I die. A dark cave that I could crawl in to and hope I wouldn't survive. I don't want to hurt myself. I want something to be wrong with me so people could understand. I thought things would get better after you hit your lowest point. I guess things still have to get worse before the light tells the dark, "Aroint!"
