Many unanswered questions loom in my head and haunt my every day.
They've been cumulating for years now and they seem to get even more stubborn the older I get.
I've been waiting for the answers to hit me in the head like an epiphany in the form of a rock.
But the years tick on and I don't even have the slightest bit of a bruise.
I'm faced with the questions everyday.
They're unavoidable.
I'm bombarded with opposing opinions even in my heart.
I'm afraid to find the answers.
I've been torn for so long.
How could I go back to my prior state of mind?
I'm terrified to ask their opinions.
I know they will only disappoint me.
And inevitably cause me more confusion.
What if it were me?
What if I were in that position?
Would they still love me?
What if it were me?
What if it were me?
What if it were me?
I pray that my heart is what matters most.
And that my intentions are genuinely pure.
I pray that I'm still loved by them all.
I pray that I won't be a traitor.
To either side of my torn heart.
I want to look for the answers.
I want to learn.
And decide for myself.
I'm so petrified.
I don't want my mind to go back.
I don't want to disagree.
I'm stuck in the middle of a raging war.
With friends on both sides.
I almost pray for a thick slice from a swift sword.
But I know that is only a wasteful solution.
So I don't.
I have to pursue what my heart ponders.
With the best frame of mind I can offer.
I need to ask questions.
Even though I'm afraid.
I need to pray.
And hope that my mind can be put at ease.
I've learned a great deal over the years.
But there is one thing I know for sure.
Knowledge is the ultimate strength.
Especially when paired with love.
I only pray that they still love me.
