⇾ 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 | 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐈

Chapter Thirty-Five: Back in Boring 'Ole Liddypool!

October 14, 1961

The next morning, Dot and I found ourselves waiting to board a ferry before the sun had even fully risen. John and Paul had dragged themselves out alongside us to see us on our way.

As we stood on the dock waiting for the ferry, leaned back against a wall, John kept his arm around my waist, almost firmly, as if to say to any passerby, "stay away." It made me feel pretty safe.

Dot and Paul stayed off to the side, laughing together as if something hadn't just flipped their lives upside down. From what I'd heard, they'd decided to not tell anyone until the Beatles returned home and they both could tell everyone together. I wasn't sure whether or not George and Pete knew yet. Regardless, they'd definitely know soon enough.

"Be sure to write to me," said John. "Tell me how it is back in Liverpool."

I gave him a frown. "I suspect it won't be too different."

He smiled. "It'll be lacking moi! It will be quite different."

I rolled my eyes. "It's been lacking you since September. I'm sure it's gonna be okay."

"Don't worry, baby," he said. "I'll be back soon." I nodded. "And then maybe I'll find it in my schedule," he whispered, leaning down.

"To?"

"To make you mine," he leaned down and said in almost a low growl and butterflies shot through my stomach. Then, he chuckled. "Gets ye every time."

"W-what?" I stuttered, suddenly breathless.

"Yer nervous," he quipped.

I swallowed. "Am not."

Truth was, I was, and I knew I wasn't hiding it as well as I hoped. He knew it, and perhaps that made me even more nervous about everything. I'd never felt so attached to someone in fear of being hurt and I had seemingly forgotten my little rule with John. I'd become dangerously close to him and I knew something could mess it up any day. That should have made me more scared (and possibly regretful), but in truth, it only made me more excited about the whole thing. I was really walking on eggshells here.

"Get a room," Paul yelled jokingly, snapping me out of my trance.

John yelled some witty remark back at him I didn't quite catch and then the ferry began to pull in front of the loading spot.

"Ye sure ye don't want me to accompany you back?" John asked.

I shook my head. "You need sleep before your gig. Besides, I've got Dot," I answered.

He frowned. "Fine."

I wasn't about to let him change his plans for me.

He bounced up off the wall, removed his arm from around me, and pulled me into a hug all in one motion. Then, he pulled away and planted a small, but meaningful kiss on my lips. "I'll see you in a few months, yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Any time at all," he added. "All you gotta do is call. I'll be there to help with anything."

I nodded. "I'll be sure to remember that."

I took my suitcase and went towards where Dot was waiting for me, turning to wave to Paul, who'd found his way over to where John and I had been standing.

~~~

The next few hours were a blur of transportation. We stopped to get food about halfway through, and by the time we were back in Liverpool, Dot and I had become pretty acquainted.

I had learned that she had grown up with a distant mother and a drinker for a father. I felt bad for her here and that only worsened when I realized this abusive father was now about to be a grandfather.

Nonetheless, by the time we'd made it back to Liverpool, Dot was someone I could now consider a friend. I did know perhaps her deepest secret, so that'll form a friendship.

When I'd made it back to Brian's, I felt a little wave of relief wash over me. So much had happened in the past week, I hadn't had time to realize how much I missed being home. Brian was waiting on the porch with a cup of hot chocolate for me.

"Hey, kiddo," he greeted, standing up and immediately pulling me in for a hug. "How was it?"

I smiled happily as he handed me my cup of hot chocolate and went to sit back on the swing with him. "It was great," I said. "Quite the opposite of here." I laughed.

"I'm glad you had a good time," he said, sighing as if something heavy had just been lifted off his shoulders.

"How about you? How was your family?" I asked in turn.

"They were all good. I had a lovely time. They're excited to meet you soon," he added and my stomach sank. "I was thinking we could go down there for Christmas?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded. "I'm sure that'll be fine." I smiled, not showing how wary the very idea made me.

He grinned happily. "I know they'll love you." He looked out and finished off his cocoa. "Let's head inside. I'm sure you're tired. Would ye wanna come hang around NEMS tomorrow?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I think that would be nice. I'd like to put some albums away."

After we'd talked a little longer, I dragged myself into the house and began to put away the stuff in my suitcase until I could barely hold my eyes open. I aimlessly grabbed some pajamas and made my way towards the bathroom to shower.

They say thoughts come most heavily in the shower, and most recently I had decided to believe it.

I found my thoughts wondering to what John had said to me this morning.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll be back soon. And then maybe I'll find it in my schedule."

"To?"

"To make you mine."

I felt the same butterflies I'd felt in the moment flutter within me again and it felt like they'd never go away. I tried everything to get the thought to go away and it didn't. It just continued to circulate through, repeating over and over like a broken record: just the same thing over and over again.

When I'd found my way back into my bedroom, I found myself looking to my window, wishing I had John here to throw rocks at it to wake me up.

I pretended it annoyed me, but at the same time, I always prayed it would happen. When it did, I'd suddenly feel happy and not alone.

I sighed and thought to myself, "two more months," not knowing they'd be back sooner than I expected.