⇾ 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 | 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐈

Chapter Fifty: What is it That You Like About Me?

December 25, 1961

How John managed to find me I wasn't sure. Soon after I'd hung up the phone, Barbara, Clive, and I had driven down to the hospital. We were told that Brian would be okay and it wasn't until a few hours later when I found John wandering about the hospital.

"You actually came?" I asked. "How'd you know to come here?"

He turned to me, immediately coming to hug me. "Of course I came," he said. "You sounded so upset and in need of a hug." Why did I have to start crying again? "Aww, love," he cooed. "Do you need to step outside for a breath of fresh air for a moment?"

I shook my head.

"Donna?" I turned to see Clive coming towards me with Barbara.

"Clive," I said, wiping my eyes furiously. "This is John."

He smiled. "Nice to meet you then, John."

A smiled tugged at Johns lips. "You're?"

"Brian's brother," answered Clive. "This is my girlfriend, Barbara."

John nodded respectfully. "Fancy meeting you, love," he said charmingly. I nudged him playfully.

We fell silent for a moment. Clive cleared his throat. "Okay, well, we'll leave you two be," and they shuffled away.

I sighed defeatedly.

"What did they say about him?" John asked.

I gave him a tired look and I could tell I wasn't going to sleep that night. "He'll be fine. He should be out by tomorrow afternoon." I frowned. "I hope this doesn't get in the way of your guys' audition."

John laughed. "Love, that's the last thing you should be worried about."

"I hope it doesn't though. He wouldn't want it to either."

John nodded, his face growing solemn as he remembered we were in a hospital.

"He's down that hallway if you want to come," I said, pointing.

John nodded and put his arm around me. "Lead the way, tour guide."

"Sod off."

He chuckled as I began to go back towards the room they'd brought Brian to.

"How'd you know to come here?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I mean, when someone collapses, they generally end up in a hospital, as we've learned with you—." He raised his eyebrows at me and I blushed. "I tried another hospital and they didn't have a Mr. Brian Epstein, so I came here and found you."

I mulled over what he said a moment, then nodded. "I mean, fair enough. You're good, but I told you not to come."

"Aww, baby, you were sobbing your little blue eyes out. I simply had to come," he insisted.

I rolled my eyes. "You're outlandish."

"But you like it."

"I suppose I do to put up with it," I huffed as I led him to the room.

"Queenie?" I said tentatively. She turned and saw me standing with John and gave a little smile.

"John?" she asked. I nodded to her. "Nice to meet you, love," she said.

"And you, ma'am," replied John with a smile.

"So, you're in the band that Brian is working with, then?"

John nodded. "That I am. He's been a lovely manager so far."

She nodded with a fond smile. "He learns quickly."

John chuckled lowly. "I can tell he does."

She looked back towards the bed Brian was laid in and shuffled away. I hadn't been able to look at him yet. I knew I'd start crying like a fool again even though I knew he'd be fine.

"He hasn't woken up then?" asked John.

Queenie shook her head. "Not yet. Should be soon though."

"See, love?" John said, shaking me lightly. "Nothing to be worried about."

"Okay, look," I said with a sigh and a half-hearted laugh.

"Oh, I know," he said teasingly. "You're sensitive."

I gave him a threatening look. He frowned. "Loosen up?"

"I'm sorry," I said, looking down.

He tightened his arm around me. "I'm sorry," he said.

"I'm being stupid," I said flatly.

John forced me to look into his eyes. "You're being nothing of the sort." I didn't say anything. I was tired. John sighed. "Let's go outside for a few minutes?" he asked. "Some fresh air, yeah?"

I nodded, wanting to get away from the bare walls and overall depressing atmosphere of the bright and quiet hospital, wanting to get away from my troubles for a minute or so.

"Where are you staying?" I asked as he began to lead me outside.

He shrugged. "I'll get a room at a hotel or something."

I frowned. "Why didn't you listen to me?" I whined.

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't have to come," I said. "It's an inconvenience for you."

He looked on edge, but kept his cool well. "C'mon, love, I just wanted to help ye."

I nodded. "I'm glad you came."

"Then why are you upset at me?"

"Because...." There was no going back now. "I just don't think I'm worth the hassle."

He stopped me. "What makes you say that?" he snapped.

I bit my lip, knowing I shouldn't have said that. "I'm so ordinary," I said lamely. "What is it that you like about me?"

He realized we'd stopped in the middle of the hallway and took my hand, leading me out the door and pulling me to the side. "Well," he said, letting go and leaning against the wall. "You're beautiful, you're smart, you're caring, you're loving—." He paused. "Should I go on?"

I was too tired to pretend I wasn't blushing. "No, I got the memo," I replied, my voice cracking. "Why?" I cried. "Why can't I just be happy for one minute?" I choked. "Everything's fine, so why am I not?"

John put his arms around me as I began to cry. "Please answer me," I said to no one in particular. "Why can't I just be normal?"

John rubbed his hands along my back comfortingly. "It's okay, love. Everything'll be alright. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here to help you."

"And I'll always be there for you too," I blubbered. "I love you, John," I said in a fit of fatigue, not aware of anything actually happening around me.