You – " HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CAROLINE (and sinner) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"
Oh stop it you, you're making me blush.
IM EIGHTEEN WOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOO LA LA LA LA.
I can drink alcohol and see R18 movies now!! YAY. Not that I want to watch them. Sinner says they have porn in them so I'll pass on that eighteen year old privilege.
It's 10am, I'm at school. I'm leaving at lunch though because Sly says he has a surprise waiting. So far I have gotten new sneakers (my old ones were held together with tape) and a new phone! So shinny. Ian got a phone too and a Jacket. Sly is also sending him on some camp thing for young business people or something lame like that which Ian was stoked about.
Greg, Joey and Gary got me A SLING SHOT!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!
I practically cried with joy when I opened it up. Tomorrow we are gonna go up to the fort and play with it. IM SO EXCITED!! They wanted to go today but I promised Sly I would keep my afternoon all free because apparently the surprise is pretty big. I HOPE HE FOUND MUM. Or at least she rings :D
4pm
Oh my goodness.
You – "What?!"
I'm on a plane. I have no idea where we are going. Sly won't tell me.
He's all stoked because he managed to get the captain not to announce the destination. Don't know why he's so chuffed though. No one says no to Sylvester Thorn.
I better go. I'm in the bathroom stall pretending to go for a long poo.
9pm – Australian time
Guess where I am.
You – "Australia."
HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
You – "......"
Shut up. I'm hilarious. But really guess where I am – am. As in where in Australia.
You – "I don't know. Sydney."
No, well yes, techniquely I'm in Manly but I, never mind, I'm in a bathroom.
You – "Taking another poo?"
Well that's what Sly thinks.
You – "Whatchya doing Caroline?"
Hiding. Sly said exactly 5 minutes ago
"There's one more surprise." Then pulled the creepiest smile he possible could.
And you know what that means Phillip.
You – "Sex."
That's right Phillip. Sexual intercourse.
You- "And what did you say?"
I gotta poo.
You – "Of course you did."
Have you seen porn Phillip? Eugh *Vomits all over you* Oh sorry Phillip, let me clean that right up.
You – "You're strange."
IM SCARED.
You – "Just tell him then."
I DID! He keeps saying to not worry and brushing it off.
I don't want to do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
I don't wanna. It's my birthday!
No.
He can't make me!
I'll just say not today please.
I'm not doing it.
I'm not.
YOU ARE READING
Phillip
HumorA famous activist becomes obsessed with an asexual girl. Hello Phillip I guess we've come to the end of this journey. Get it? Journey? Because you're a journal. Hah. Reading back I've just realised that you and I have been through a lot...
