pick up the phone

28

Im so happy that people actually like this story :D

After I dry my body I wrap the towel around my waist. I'm starting to be able to think better but my sight is still lagging.

The clothes on the floor are my old gross clothes so I have to go find some new ones in my room. I hope he didn't throw my clothes out. Ronnie would do that. But Oli hasn't ever done what I expected from him.

Maybe I shouldn't think so-and-so did this so Oliver is going to.. maybe he actually does like me? It seems so impossible but people can like bad people.

So maybe its possible that he like me a little. Not love, he can't love me. When I open my bedroom closet I look through my clothes. They are all still here. I put on my stitch onesie and some drop dead breifs. It's my softest one.

After zipping it up I run my hand over the material. It's so nice to be back here. I'm clean and no longer alone. I'm so tired.

I crawl into bed and fall asleep almost instantly.

- Oliver's pov in the afternoon -

Yesterday Kellin broke up with me.. it was out of the blue, I thought we were happy together. The call from Davhie stressed me out but I wasn't going to let that be the end of us.

Kellin breaking up with me hurts. I feel like he took a part of me when he left. How do I fix this? This morning I drove around for hours looking for him. But, just like last night's trip I couldn't find him.

I even called his friends and ex's asking them if kellin was with them. My anxiety has been through the roof and so has my depression.

Why did he go? Where did he go? Is he okay? Liquid rolls down my face and I touch it. Tears? Oliver Sykes never crys.. then why am I crying now?

I punch the wall as hard as I can and my fist creates a crater in my wall. "Fuck," I grunt and look at my room wall. There you go, now look at me. I'm breaking shit.

This must be my fault. I did something to scare him off. Maybe it was the fight at the pub? He saw my knuckles and then broke up with me.

Some guy at the pub was flirting with me and I told he to back off. People flirt with me all the time but that doesn't make it any less annoying. I was trying to think of a way to get out of breaking up with kellin. I told the dude I was in a relationship but that didn't stop him. But when he started talking bad about my boyfriend we ended up getting into a fight.

I'm not going to let anyone talk bad about my boyfriend. Even if they don't know what they are talking about. He doesn't know kellin but that doesn't change the fact that I punched him in the mouth.

He was indeed bigger than me but I ended up beating him up more than what he did to me. I love kellin, I'd fight anyone or anything for him.

To hide the punch hole I hang up a canvas I painted on and sigh. Maybe he found out that Davhie was threatening to leak a video of him if we didn't break up.

But he looked hurt by me when he left...

I wipe my face and go from my room to his. Maybe theres a explanation in here.

Theres a laptop on his bed. He never uses this. I sit on his bed and put the computer on my lap. Carefully I open it and my heart drops as I see its pause on a video.

It kinda looks like porn but I see kellin tied to a bed and Dahvie. Shit.. this is the video he doesn't want to leak. Is it porn or is it rape? I press play and feel a lump in my chest.

This looks like the porn I watch but I'm not getting turned on. No, I feel like I'm going to cry, throw up, or have a break down. Kellin is screaming 'no' 'stop' and a bunch of other things. I skip all of it to the end to see what happens at the end. Nothing, just him leaving kellin chained up.

I close the computer and set it beside me. I feel hurt some how. I know I didn't rape him but I feel extremely upset that, that happened to him.

I dont like seeing kellin scared.. startled sure that does turn me on. But what I watched, that makes me sick. I start fully crying so I put my head I'm my hands.

I need kellin to be okay..

-

When I walk into kellins room I see he is fast asleep on his bed. He didn't even get under the covers. I smile at the black haired boy fondly and look at the ramen noodles I'm holding.  He has to eat.

"Love? I made you food," I say but he doesn't wake up. Kellin is adorable and such a cute sleeper. I don't want to wake him up but I don't want him to starve anymore.

I'm not sure if I'm relieved that he broke up with me because he's insecure or upset. That means he does like me and didn't want to leave. But it also means he really doesn't understand that I love him.

I'm not sure if I should tell him that I'm in love with him. He might think it's to soon or it's just infatuation. Maybe I can just tell him I really like him and continue to show my love to him.

I wonder how much he likes me? I'm sure in time he'll fall in love with him me, if he can see through my flaws. I really hope he can. I'm better now, I'm actually getting somewhere in life. Im no longer a strung out druggie.

I've changed for the better and I want kellin to be in my new and improved life. I'm not cured from depression, anxiety, and ADHD but I've come to terms with that's just who I am.

I take medication for it and it's been helping. I feel somewhat normal and I'm okay with just being okay.  I've lived in a not okay mind for a long time so now that I'm okay I'm actually happy a lot of the times.

I poke kellin's cheek expecting him to wake up but he doesn't. "Baby, wake up," I say now messing with his hand. He looks at me sleepily and pouts.

"I'm sleeping until spring," he mumbles falling back asleep.

"No love, you're not going to hibernate, get up," I say putting the bowl down and using both hands to make him sit up. He looks like he's going to fall asleep again so I talk.

"How 'bout you eat, like things do right before hibernation," I say and he looks at me confused.

"Why are you talking about hibernation?" He mumbles. I chuckle but grab his ramen and put it in his lap.

He very sleepily takes the fork and starts playing with the noodles. I take it from him and start feeding him because he's going to fall asleep in the middle of eating if I don't.

Sleepy kellin is adorable

Do you ever get woken up and not remember it? My dad use to come home from a pub and would always wake me up just to tell me Goodnight or something about his night and in the morning he'll say something about it and I'd have no clue what he's talking about and not remembering him telling me Goodnight.