Danplan fluff

Im so sorry you had to see that (Heavy? Hosuh angst)

HEY! This one contains self harm in it so... yeah. Sorry. It'll be kinda sad but uh.. bear with me. No joke this one hits home. Sorry if that's cringe but it's the truth. Don't like don't read. You have been warned.

Nobody's POV:
Hosuh forcibly swallows the knot in his throat. He turns the blade and stares at it as a bit of sweat runs down his forehead. Hosuh is not depressed, nor is he suicidal. Hosuh just has a huge curiosity and it won't leave him alone.

You see, hosuh is still in highschool, and just the other day a kid told hosuh that he had cut his wrist due to depression. Hosuh was surprised. "Did it hurt?" Hosuh had asked the kid. The kid thought over it and finally answered "not to me. But maybe it'll hurt you". Ever since then, hosuh has been wondering how it would feel to cut himself. He's gotten cut before of course... just never on purpose

He had thought about it only wanting to do it to experience the feeling. Never because of depression and shit. But this morning, for some reason he woke up with confidence. Now he is sitting in the middle of his bedroom floor as he examines his box cutter

He wipes his hand on his shorts cuz his palms are becoming sweaty. He thinks it over not really focusing on the consequences. He thinks 'I'm only scared about how much it'll hurt. I wonder...'

Finally, after a few minutes of contemplating on doing it, he gathers his strength and grips onto the box cutter. He pulls up his sweater sleeve getting it out of the way to perfectly see the back of his left hand

He takes a deep breath and smoothly and quickly slashed the blade across the back of his hand..... nothing. 'Huh' hosuh thought. So, to make sure that it's working, he makes 3 more Smaller marks to the left of the original longer cut. He waits and finally, he sees a few droplets of blood bubble out of his skinny straight wounds. He smiles at himself 'that didn't even hurt' He thinks to himself

Hosuh stands up, making sure not to drop the little bit of blood anywhere, and walked to the bathroom. He casually grabs a hand full of toilet paper and dabs it on his 4 small cuts. He wipes, but more blood comes. He tilts his head in confusion and wipes again. Then more blood decides to rush up

Instead of hosuh becoming scared or nervous, he actually became annoyed. He wipes and wipes and wipes, the paper starting to irritate his cuts and skin. After a long time of wiping he carefully washes his cut cringing and wincing as the water hitshis open wounds

After he carefully pats his hand dry, he walks back into his room. He flops onto bed and looks at his hand. Then a terrifying thought rushes to his head that he didn't even think of before. He gasps and sits up straight "scars" he whispers to himself. He looks at his cut and sees that the skin around the cut in now becoming bumpy

Hosuh carefully runs his right fingertips over the cuts. Smooth and bumpy and very, very sensitive. He winces. The pain is stingy. It dosent really hurt, it just irritates. He sighs and looks at the box cutter on the floor

Hosuh stands up and reaches for it "one more wouldn't hurt" he reassures himself. Hosuh picks up the blade and sits on his bed. "Where now?" He wonders

Not his hands, one is for drawing and the others already marked. He finally decides to do it somewhere hidden in his leg. He slightly lifts the hem of his shorts on his right leg. He pulls it high enough and decides to slash his upper thigh

He holds on tight to the blade and quickly runs it across his smooth skin. He waits a second and soon enough, the blood comes. These cuts aren't deep in anyway but they sure do bleed more than he thought that they would

Hosuh begins to wipe over and over until it finally decides to stop bleeding. After that's done hosuh stands up and places his hands on his hips. He smiles at himself because he now feels satisfied.

He has now experienced the slight pain on cutting himself. He is not curious anymore. How wonderful. Hosuhs amazing victory is rudely inturupet by the thought from before; scars? But this time, it didn't come alone! A thousand questions decide to run over hosuh like a stampede!

Will anyone see? How long will it take to heal? Will it leave a scar? What will dan and jay and Stephen think? Does he need bandaids? Is something wrong with him? Why did he do that? Was the blade even clean? Could It get infected? Will anyone notice? How will they react? Will they get mad at him? Should he care? Should he do it again? Why didn't it hurt so much? Would an actual knife be any better? What if he uses more force next time? Will anyone dislike him now?

Hosuh falls to his knees as these questions fill his mind and become too much. He can't think clearly but there is one clear thought fresh on his mind; what have I done?

Hello. Sorry if it's short and sorry that this is kinda out of place. I know what you must be thinking, "cream! This is a fluff book! Where is my fluff!?" And yeah, sorry lol. I'll work on it haha. The reason why I wrote this is actually because um.... im 100% hosuh in this story. Yup, im not proud of it... but I was curious. I need to vent somewhere.. right? No one has noticed irl Incase if your wondering. Do you guys want a second part of this where his friend/s find out? If I do do a second part there will be some fluff, I promise. Anyways sorry if that was sad or wierd or cringe or whatever the hell it was. Please excuse my wierdness and imma wrap it up here. Stay happy and stay wierd. Cream out!