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Taking Dense to a Whole New Level Pt. 2

So the rest of these take place before Johnny was arrested. The whole 'walking into a murder scene' was just the first scenario to come into my head for the idiot Johnny to go through.

Johnny somehow managed to get a job. A job at a bank, no less. Of course, this bank was probably run by some sketchy person who has no business running a bank. They definitely weren't checking for credentials if Johnny was hired. 

For whatever reason, Johnny was basically the face of this bank. He's the first and only person you see when you walk inside. I'm sure this bank doesn't have any returning customers.

Well, there is one if you consider a robber a customer.

So there Johnny is, sitting at the counter doing absolutely nothing, thinking about how he'll never be framed for murder and be arrested because of it, when the bell rings.

Of course, in his lifetime of pure idiocy, he doesn't know how those bells work. "Uwaaaaaa! A bell rang and a person appeared! Sugoi desu ne!" This person that ahem appeared just happened to be wearing a stereotypical black ski mask and holding a pistol with both hands pointing it directly at Johnny.

And because Johnny's an idiot, he doesn't know what a gun is. He jumped up from his seat, stared at the robber's hands, then slammed his hands on his desk, "WOAH!! Is...is that... A METAL FINGER GUN????!?!?!??" That is certainly one way to shock your attacker.

The man with the 'metal finger gun' got over the shock that someone would be stupid enough to think a gun was a finger gun and approached Johnny's desk. He basically shoved the gun in Johnny's face, "I want you to go to your vault, wherever that might be, and take out $5,000 and give it to me," His voice was stone cold. "Do I make myself clear?"

Johnny was confused as to why the finger gun was in his face and wondered why it was so cold. Then he gasped, "WWoooOOOoOAAaAAaaAaHh! Is all the money in that big safe thingy yours? KAKKOIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!1111!!" (It took me a bit to figure out how to romanize this one. I didn't know how many Ks it had)

The robber was rightfully confused. 'Who could possibly be so stupid as to think there would be one person who owned all of the money kept in a bank? I'm even dressed like a stereotypical robber, how doesn't that man know?' 

Unlike Johnny, the robber wasn't an idiot. He knew what he had to do in order to get 'his' money. He scoffs, "Of course all the money in that vault is mine. I'm withdrawing five-thousand, didn't you hear?" 

He slowly brought his gun back to its hidden holster while talking. He didn't want to get caught with a gun now, did he? Besides, that idiot wouldn't report the incident because he didn't know it was one. There would be no reason for anyone to look back at the security footage, so the robber was safe as long as that idiot known as Johnny worked there.

"Hai haiii!" The man was somehow able to keep his face from showing the amount of cringe he felt when interacting with the weeb. Johnny wondered aloud, "What would he need $5,000 for when everything's free?"

Sir robber nearly choked on air. 'This...this grown, ADULT MAN thinks everything is free? Just what is this guy? He's a special kind of stupid.' It took everything in the man to keep his composure. Sure, he was a criminal himself, as this was the third bank he hit up this day, but even he paid for all of this things. 

The perks of working at a 'bank,' it seems.

Speaking of, lets talk about the bank while Johnny tries to figure out how to make his way to the vault and get Sir robber his money. (I call this 'I don't know what to do with this right now so I'll extend the story by explaining the bank that isn't a bank' or 'idkwtdwtrnsietsbetbtiab' for short)

Three years ago, a man highly addicted to...whatever he was addicted to (probably meth or something) needed somewhere he could make it for himself. He couldn't do it at his home because that was too risky. I mean, what kind of idiot makes illegal substances at their house? It's not like people get busted for that sort of thing all time.-.

He knew he needed a cover, a separate building with no association to him. After a while of searching, he found it. It was a small bank, one of many in the area. It was perfect. It was a place with many rooms out of the public eye, the perfect place to set up shop. Now all he needed was the perfect person to keep people away.

Johnny was a name well known throughout Sorfen city for being intolerable, annoying, and especially an idiot. So the addict thought to himself, 'That man...That man would be perfect for the job. Nobody likes him, he drives everyone away, and he doesn't know anything despite being an adult!'

After taking a few weeks to fully flesh out his plan and make sure he had enough money, he bought ownership of the bank. He set up everything, building up his stock of 【Illegal Substances】then finally got to the most important part of his plan: hiring Johnny.

He tracked down Johnny somehow and finally executed the last part of his plan.

"Johnny," he said to Johnny, "come work for me, everything'll be free for you if you do."

Johnny thought for approximately half a second then answered "HHHAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!1!1!111111!!" It was his first ever job. No one knows how he was able to survive in life considering he was an adult who didn't have a job and literally knew nothing.

Well, hey. At least the man didn't ask for a helping hand. Something tells me Johnny wouldn't have reacted well to that...

The man's plan had worked out perfectly. Johnny was the face of the bank who scared every customer away while he ran drug deals at the hidden back entrance. 'Where is that back entrance?' you might ask. I can't tell you because it's hidden that well. 

That man was smart. Giorno would be disappointed. At least they're not located anywhere in Italy.

With that out of the way, Johnny has successfully found the money and made his way back to his desk with $5,000 for Sir robber. He handed the money over.

And with that, they gained one returning customer. He would come once every month to collect his $5,000. The smart man never noticed any missing money because he actually wasn't that smart and never did any form of accounting. There was no need for that as he was raking in money from his 'business' and foolishly buying all of Johnny's things.

Now you know just how much of an enabler Johnny is. He made both robbery and drug deals possible through his idiocy.

Now that that's finally done, I published a book that I made in 2017 and completely forgot about it until I saw that I had 16 story drafts instead of 15. It's called Book of Zodiac Stuff. Now I and whoever actually reads that thing know what I was thinking when I was either 12 or 13. That must've been one short phase because I don't even remember making that book. Oops?

Last thing, I was reading a fanfic (wow surprising) of JotaKak (I have no shame for this sort of thing) and while reading that, I referred to Kakyoin as Kak boy in my head then realized my mistake. I subsequently started silently laughing because it was like 5am and I couldn't exactly laugh out loud.

Long story short, don't refer to kakyoin as Kak boy.