Oblivion • Akutagawa x Reader

•17

The first week after the incident, you hardly left your house. Kyouka went to check on you often, although most of her concern stemmed from her fear of the mafia going after you after the damage you'd caused. You had assured her that they wouldn't hurt you since Dazai made a deal with them, but still she insisted to check up on you.

Atsushi would stop by your flat too, though you never opened the door for him. You wanted time to yourself, to think about and process everything.

You took time to organize the memories you already had, and the ones you recently recollected.

The second week, you found yourself back at the Armed Detective Agency's office working, although everyone mostly steered clear of your way. In your mind, the nagging curiosity of you and Akutagawa was coming back, but you tried your hardest to ignore it, to push it back.

That's over. Whatever potential that had...it doesn't exist anymore.

At least, that's what you told yourself.

The third week, you were allowed to go on missions again. Atsushi brought you along for a simple one, and closer to the fourth week, Yosano brought you along for a mission that involved the Port Mafia.

However, the fourth week is where you could no longer keep anything inside you anymore.

You were staying late at the agency office, and Yosano was just finishing up her own work after being requested at a hospital for help. You were stuck staring at a last document you were meant to revise and sign, but all you could concentrate on was the mission with Yosano, and the glimpse of Gin's eyes you had gotten. You were hired to protect a government official, and thankfully Yosano had gotten there in time with you, but not before the flashbacks of Gin'a angry grey eyes brought you back your grief of your argument with Akutagawa from weeks ago.

Even now, you felt that memory come back to you, distracting you, consuming you.

Guilt.

Why do I feel like this? I've killed before...no, but not people I've known from my past. Not without reason.

And Akutagawa...

"[f/n]? Are you ok?"

You perk your head up and meet Yosano's gaze, concern in her magenta eyes.

"Oh...yeah I'm fine-"

"If you're thinking about the Port Mafia incident again, don't. Don't even think about Akutagawa." She says with a determined smile, placing her things on your desk and checking something on her phone before looking back at you with the same smile still on her face.

"How about we go have some drinks? A little sake always makes me feel better.."

You frown at her request, the last thing you were thinking about being to go to a bar.

"You know what? I'm not giving you a choice. This will probably be good for you anyways. A distraction." Yosano insists, picking up her purse and your coat and passing it to you while she pulled you up and forced you out the door with her, and eventually, into the bar not far from the agency.

As soon as you stepped in, the buzz of the bar's ambience seemed to call for you to lose yourself for a bit and make yourself forget.

To numb the memories you wished you hadn't recovered anymore since you rushed into things.

Yosano immediately sat you down and ordered you both some sake, starting small talk with you before asking you more about you. She was trying to be friendly, you could tell, but it didn't help you forget.